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UNIVERSITY OF PITTSBURGH

Digitized by tine Internet Arcliive

in 2010 witli funding from

University of Pittsburgli Library System

littp://www.arcliive.org/details/allfamiliarcolloOOeras

ALL THE

Familiar Colloquies

OF ^^

Desiderius Erasmus,

O F

ROTERDAM,

Concerning Men, Manners, and Things^ tranilated into EngUjh.

By K B A I I E T,

The Second Edition.

Unlike in Merhod, with conceard Defign, Did crafty Horace his low Numbers join j And, wich a fly infinuacing Grace, Laugh'd at his Friend, and look'd him in the Face : Would raife a Blufh, when fecret Vice he found j And tickled, while he gently prob'd the Wound : With feeming Innocence the Crowd beguil'd j But made the defperate Pafles, when he Irnil'd.

Terfitis Sat. I. Dryden.

LONDON:

Printed for J. J. and P. Knattov, D. Mid'u:inter and A. Ward, A. Bettefiuorth and C. Hitch, J Pe^nhertan, '\ Osborn and T. 'Longman, C. Uivington, F. Clay, Batley, R. Hett, and T. Hatchet. 1753.

i

-^ ..^)

A N

INDEX

T O T H E

COLLOCLUIES.

i^ Of rafb VoiuSi

Of Benefice-Hunters, Of a Soldier s Life, The Commands of a Mafier, 7he Schoolmafler's Admonitionst Of various Plays, The Child's Piety, The profane Feafi, The religious Feaft, The Apotheofis of CapniOj The Lover and Maiden, The Virgin averfe to Matrimony, The penitent Virgin, The uneafy Wife, The Soldier and Carthufan, Phileiymus aw^/PfeudocheuSj The Shipwreck, Diverforia, or the Inns, The young Man and Harlot, The poetical Feaji, An Enquiry concerning Faiths The old Mens Dialogue, The rich Beggars, The Abbot and leanted Woman,

Page H

22

25 29

3^ 35 37

43

70

95 131

137 H7

15?

158

172 178 182 190 1^6 20 f 218 22S 241

The

An INDEX.

The Epithalamium of Peter iEgidius,

The ExoTcifm or Apparition,

The Alchymffl,

The Horfi'Cheaty [^^

The Beggar^s Dialogue,

The fabulous feafi.

The Lying-in Woman,

The religious Pilgrimage,

Icthyopkagia, or the Fijb -eating.

The Funeral,

The Echo,

The unequal Feajl,

Of Things, andNames, or Words,

Charon,

The AJfembly of Grammarians,

The unequal Marriage,

The Impofiure,

Cyclops, or the Gojpel-Carrier,

The Impertinents, or crofs Purpofes,

The falfe Knight,

The Play of Cockal,

Ths Parliament of Women,

The early Rifng,

The fiber Feafi,

The notable Art,

The Sermon, or Merdardus,

Philodoxus, or the Lover of Glory,

The rich Mifer,

The feraphick Funeral,

Amicitia, or the Friend/bip,

The Problems,

The Epicurean,

The Confli£l bet-ween Thalia and Barbarifm,

Concerning the Profitablenefs of Colloquies,

Of the Method of Study,

r\m

THE

PREFACE.

HERE are tixio- Things I ivould take fome Notice cf : The jirfi relates to my Author, and the fecondto my [elf, or the Reafom why I have atte?npted this Tranjlation of him. And in freaking of the firfi, I prejfume I \Jhall fa-ve my felf much of nvhat might be [aid as to the fecond. Tho^ Erafmus is fo ivell known, efpecially to thofe verfed in the Latin Tongue, that there feems to be but little Occajion to fay any Thing in his Com- me^tdation j yet fince I haix taken upon me to make him an Eng- lifhman, give me TLeave to fay y that in my Opinio7t> he as well deferves this Naturalization , as any modern foreigner wbofe Works are «/ Latin, as w&ll for theUfefulnefs of the Matter of his Colloquies, as the Fleafantnefs of Style, and Elegancy of the Latin.

They are under an egregious Miflake, who think there is «<^> thing to be found in them, but Things that favour of Puerility, written indeed ingenioufy, and i?i elegant Latin. For this Book ■ contains, befdes thofe. Things of a far greater Concern j and indeed, there, is fcarce any Thing wa?tting in them, ■fit to be taught to a Chriftian Touth, defgnd for liberal Studies.

The Principles of Faith are not only plainly and clearly laid dovsn, but efiablifJji'd upo?i their own firm and genuine Baps. The Rulei of Piety, Jufrice, Charity, Purity, Meeknefs, Bro* therly Concord, the Subjeiiion due to Superiors, are fo treated of, that, in a word, fcarce any Thing is omitted that belongs to a Man, a Subjeci, or a Chrifiian.

Neither are thofe Things omitted, which refpeB a Medium of Life, by which every 07te may chufe out fafely what Ratio of Life he has mofh Mi?zd to, and by which he may be taught, not o?ily Civility and Couriefy, but alfo may know how to behave hirnfelf in the World, fo as to gain himfelf the Good-will of many, mid a good Nairn avwjig all, and may he able to dtfcem the FoU

A lies

The P R E F A C E.

lies 'and ChildiJJmeJfes of Vooh, and the Frauds and Villanies of knaves y fo as. to guard againfl 'em all.

And neither are there li^anting Sketches > and that ample ones too, of Poetical Story, or Pagan Theology, ttniverfal Hi/lory facred and profane. Poetry, Criticifn, Logick, Natural and Moral Philofophy, Oeconomics and Politics • to ivhich are added, a good Number of Proverbs and Apothegms ufed by the mofi celebrated of the Antients.

But there is one Thing in an efpecial Manner , that (Ijould re- commend this Book to all Proteftants in general, and caufe them to recomt^e7td it to be read by theit Children, that there is no Book jitter for them to read, rjohich does in fo delightful and infiruii- ing a Manner utterly overthrow almofi all the Pepifb Opijiions and Superflitions, and ereSi in their Stead, a Super fru^ure of Opinions that are purdy Protejlant.

And notviithfandmg nuhatfoever Erafmus hath faid in his ^Apology concerning the Utility of his Colloquies, that he could fay nuith Modefiy, according to his ivonted Dexterity, to temper, and alleviate the Bitternefs of the Wormixiood that he gave the Papifts to drink in the Colloquies, it is pafi a ^efiion, that he lays donvn a great many Things agreeable to the Proteftant Hypothefs, fo that (if you except Tranfubftantiation) he reprehends, explodes and derides almoft all the Popifli Opinions, Super (lit iojis and Cufloms.

Therefore if this golden Book be read with Attention, I doubt not but it vjill plainly appear, that the Scripture <was in all Things preferred by the Author before themall'^ ajidthat he ac- counted that alone truly infallible, and of irrefragable Authority t and did not account the Councils, Popes or Bifljops fo.

And as to the praying to Saints, it ivas his Opinion, the Chrifiian World vjould be -well enough vjithout it, and that he abhorred that common Cufom of asking unnuorthy Thi^igs of them, and flying to them for Refuge more than to the Father and Chrifi.

That he looFd upon all external Things of very fmall Ac- count, of vohatfoever Species they v:ere : Either the Choice of Meats, ProceJJtons, Stations, and innumerable other Ordinances and Ceremonies, and that they 'were in themfelves unprofi- table, although he, for the fake of Peace and Order, did con- form himfelf to all harmlefs Things that publick Authority had appointed. Not judging thofe Perfons, -who out of a Scrupu- loufhefs of Confcience thought otherivife, but vjifbing that thofe in Authority nuotdd ufe their Power with more Mildnefs.

And that he efleem'd, as Trifles and Frauds, the Commu- nity of good Works, of all Men whatfoever, or ijt any Society whatfoever ; that he abhor fd the Sale of Pardons for Sins, and

derided

The PREFACE.

derided the Treafury of Indulgences, from ivhence it is a plain Inference, that he believ'd nothing of Turgatory.

And that he more than doubted, whether auricular Confefpon ivas inflituted by Chrift or the Apofiles j and he plainly condemns uibfolution, and laughed at the givi7ig it in an unknown Tongue, From -whence ive may fairly i7zfer, that he ivas againft having the Liturgy (which ought to be read to Edification) in an un- known Tongue. But he either thought it not fafe, or not con^ 'venient, or at leafi not abjolutely ne'cejfary to fpeak his Mind plainly as to that Matter.

Liikewife, he particularly laughed at all the Species of popular and mojiafiical Piety j fuch as Trayers repeated over and overy without the Mind, but recited by a certai^t Number with their Rofariesj and Ave- Maria's, by which, God being negleSied, they expeEied to obtain all things .^ though none were particularly nam'd : Their tricenary, a7id anniverfary Maffes, ?2ay, and all thofe for the Dead : The dying and being buried in a Fran- cifcan's and Dominican's Garment or Cowl, and all the Trum- pery belonging to it j and did, in a manner condemn all forts of Monaflical Life a?id Order, as praBifed among the Pa^ pifis.

Hejbews it likewi/e to have been his Opinion, as to the Re-^ liques of Chriftj and he and flje Saints, that he judged the iPor- flnp of them a vain and foolifj Thing, and believed no Vir-' tue to be in any of them, nay, that the moft, if not all of them t were falfe and counterfeit .

And to crown the whole, he did 7iot fpar6 that behvedPrin' ciple and Cufiom of the Papifts, fo zealoujly praBis'd by them upon Proteji ants, vix. thePerfecutio7t a7idBurnmg ofHereticks.

And now, of how much Ufe and Adv ant as^e fuch Things, and from fuch a Per fin as Erafmu?, may be, and how 'much they may conduce to the extirpating thofe Seeds of Popery, that may have been U7ihappily fown, or may be fubtilly i7ifiiird iyito the Mii^ds of uncautious Per fins, under the fpecious Shew of Sanctity, will, I pre fume, eafily appear. Tho' the Things before-mentioned may be Reafon fufficient for the turning thefe Colloquies of Erafmus into Englifh, that fi ufeful a Treatife may not be a Book feaVd, either to Per fins not at all, or not enough acquai7ited with the Latin Tongue, as to read them with Edification j yet T. did it from another Motive, i. e. the Benefit of fuch as haviftg been ifii" tiated, defre a more fafniliar Acquai7itance with tl.e Latin Tofigue (as to the Speakiiig Part efpecially, to which ErafmusV Colloquies are excellently adapted) that by comparing this Verficji with the Original, they may be thereby ajjlfied, to more perfsHly anderfiandi and familiarize themfilves with thofe Beauties cf

A 2, the

The P R E F A C E.

the Latin Language, in lohkh Erafmus in theje Colioquiei abounds,

And for that End, I have labour'' d to give fuch a Tranjlation of them, as might in the general, he capable of beiitg compard ■ rvith the Original, endeavouring to avoid running i^tto a Fara^ fhrafe : But keeping as clofc to the Original as I could, vuith- vut Latinizing and deviating from the Englifll Idiom, and fo depriving the Englifn Reader of that Tleafure, that Erafmus fo ple72tifully entertains his Reader ivith in Ladn,

■It is true. Sir Roger 1' Eftrange and Mr. Tho. Brown, have formerly done fome feleH Colloquies, and Mr. H. M. ^nany Tears f nee has tranjiated the whole ^ but the former being rather Varaphrafes than Tranfations, are not fo capable of affording the Affflance before-mentioned ; and as to the latter, befides that his Verfon is grown very Jcarce, the Stile is not only eintient, but too fiat for fo pleafant and facetious an Author as Erafmus is.

I do not pretend to have come up in my En^lifh, to that Life and Beauty of Erafmus in Latin, v:hich as it is often inimi' tahle in the Englifli Language, fo it is alfo a Task ft to be un- dertaken by none but an EngliOi Erafmus himfelf, i. e. one that had the fame Felicity of ExpreJJton that he had -^ hut I hope it ivill appear that I have kept my Author fill in my Bye, tho* I have follovfd him paffibus baud xquis, and could feldom come up to him. 1 fljall not detain you any longer ^ but fubfcribe my felf, yours to ferve you.

7^«- 25th, N. BAILEY.

1724-5.

Th^

[-J]

Tbe LIFE ^/Erasmus.

Tr\ESIDEB.tUS Erafmus, furnamed Roieroi:iamti!, was jL/ born at Roterda?n, a Town of Holland, on the Vigil of Simon and Juds, oxO^ober the 20th or zSch, 146^. according to his Epitaph at Baf.l j or according to the Ac- count of his Life, Erajho AuHore, circa a7inum, &c. about the Tear 1467, which agrees with the Infcription of his Statue at Roterdam, which being the Place of his Nativity, may be fuppos'd to be the moil authentick. His Mother's Name was Margaret, the Daughter of one Peter, a PhyHcian of Seve7ibergejt. His Father's Name was Gerard, who carried on a private Correfpondence with her, upon Promife of Mar- riage j and as it fhould feem from the Life which has Eraf- mus\ Name before it, was adiually contracted to her, which feems plainly to be infmuated by thefe Words ^ Sunt qui z;^- tercejjijfe verba ferunt : However, it is not to be denied that Erafmus was born out of Wedlock, and on that Account, Fzthsr Theophilus Ragnaiid, has this pleafant Paflage concern- ing him : If one may be allo'vfdto droll upon a Man, that droll d upon all the World, Erafmus, though be was jtot the Son of a King, yet he was the Son of a crowned Head, meaning a Priefi. But in this he appears to have been miftaken, in that his Farher was not in Orders when he begat him. His Father Gerard was the Son of one Elias, by his Mother Catheriite, who both liv'd to a very advanc'd Age ; Catherine living to the Age of 95. Gerardh^d. nine Brethren by the fame Facher and Mother, without one Sifter coming between them j he him- felf was the youngefl: of the ten, and liv'd to fee two of his Brothers at Dort in Holland, near 90 Years of Age each. All his Brothers were married but himfelf; and according to the Superilirion of thofe Times, the old People had a mind ro confecrate him to God, being a tenth Child, and his Brothers lik'd the Motion well enough, becaufe by that Means they thoui^ht they fliould have a fure Friend, where they might eat and drink, and be merry upon Occalion. They being all very preffing upon him to turn Ecclefiaftick, (which was 3 Courfe of Life that he had no Inclination to,) Gerard find- ing himfelf befet on all Sides, and by their univerfal Confcnt excluded from Matrimony, refolving not to be prevaii'd up-

A ^ cm

in

on by any Importunities, as defperate Parents do, fled from them, and lefn a Letter for his Parents and Brothers upon the Road, acquainting them with the Reafon of his Elopement, bidding them an eternal Farewel, telling them he would ne- ver fee them more. He profecuted his Journey to Rome, leav- ing Margaret, his Spoufe that was to be, big with Child of Brafmus. Gerard being arriv'd at V^ome, betook himfelf to get his Living by his Pen, (by tranfcribing Books) being an excel- lent Penman ; and there being at that Time a great deal of that fort of Bufmefs to do (for as the Life that is faid to be 'Erajino AuEiore has it, turn nondum ars typographorum erat, i. e. The Art of Vrlnting -was: not then found out ; which was a Mi- ftake, for it had been found out twenty-four Years before, in the Year 1442. But perhaps- the Meaning may be, tho' in was found out, it was not then commonly ufed j he got Mo- ney plentifully, and for fome Time, as young Fellows us'd to do, liv'd at large ; but afterwards apply'd himfelf in good Ear- neft to his Studies, made a confiderable Progrels in the i^- tin and Greek Tongues, which was very much facilitated by his Employment of tranfcribing Authors, which could not but foongly imprefs them on his Memory j aud he had alfo ano- ther great Advantage, in that a great many learned Men then flourifh'd at 'Rome, and he heard particularly one Guar'tnus. But to return to Erafmus, his Mother Margaret being deliver- ed of him, he was after his Father called Gerard, which in the German Tongue, fignifies Amiable j and as it was the Cuftom among learned Men in thole Times, (who affedted to give their Names either 'mZjatin ox Greek,) it was turn'd 'vaioDeft- der'tus (Didier) in Latin, and into Erafmus [E£^,(r/^<®*] in Greek, which has the fame Signification. He was at firft brought up by his Grandmother, till Gerard's Parents com- ing to the Knowledge that he was at Rome, wrote to him, fending him Word, that the young Gentlewoman whom he courted for a Wife was dead ; which he giving Credit to, in a melancholy Fir, took Orders, being made a Presbyter, and apply'd his Mind ferioufly to the Study of Religion. But upon his Return into his own Country, he found that they had im-pos'd upon him. Having taken Orders, it was too late to think of Marriage , he therefore quitted all further Pretenfions to her, nor would {he after this, be induced to marry. Gerard took Care to have his Son Erafmus liberally educated, and put him to School when he was fcarce four Years old. (They have in Holland, an ill-grounded Tradi-- tion ; that Erafwus, when he was young, was a dull Boy, and flow ar Learning j but MonCieuT Bayle has fufficiently re- futed that Error, tho' were it true, it were no more Diflwnour

[7]

to hirti, than it was to Thomas Aquinas, Suarezl and others.) He was a Chorifter at Vtrecht, till he was nine Years old, and afterwards was fent to Dakienter, his Mother alfo going thi- ther to take Care of him. That School was but barbarous, the moll that was minded, was Matins, Even-Song, <S'c. till Alexander Hegius of iVeflphalia, and Zinthius, began to introduce fomething of better Literature. (This Alexander Hegius y was an intimate Friend to the learned TLodolphus Agri- cola, who wasithe firft that brought the (Jr^-e-^ Tongue over the Mountains of Germany, and was newly returned out of Italj^ having learned the Greek Tongue of him. j Erafaius took his firfl: Tafte of folid Learning from fome of his Playfellows, who being older than himfelf, were under the Inftrudtion of Zinthius : And afterwards he fometimes heard Hegius ; bun that was only upon holy Days, on which he read publickly,. and fo rofe to be in the third Clafs, and made a very good Pro- ficiency : He is faid to have had fo happy a Memory, as to be able to repeat all Terence and Horace by Heart. The Plague at that Time raging violently at Dave?tter, carry'd oflF his Mother, when Erafmus was about thirteen Years of Age^ which Contagion increafing n\pre and more every Day, having fwept away the whole Family where he bcaVded, he returned Home. His Father Gerard hearing of the Death ot his Wife, was fo concern'd at it, that he grew melancholy upon it, fell fick, and died foon after, neither of them being much above forty Years of Age. £ie affign'd to his Son Eraf. mus three Guardians, whom he eileem'd as trufty Friends, the principal of whom was Teter iVinkeh the Schoolmafter of Goude. The Subftance that he left for his Education, had been fufficientfor thatPurpofe, if his Guardians had difcharg'd their Truft faithfully. By them he was remov'd to Boifleduc, tho' he was at that Time fit to have gone to the LTniverfity. But the Truftees were againft fending him to the Univerfity, becaufe they had defign'd him for a Monaftick Life. Here he liv'd (or, as he himfelf fays, rather loil three Years) in a Erancifcan Convent, where one Zvo;/.'^o/^' caught Humanity, who was exceedingly taken with the pregnanr Farts ot the Youth, and began to follicit him to take the Habit upon him, and become one of their Order. Er<j/w?a5- excu fed himfelf, alledg- ing the Rawnefs and Unexperiencednefs of his Age. The Plague fpreading in thefe Parts, and after he had ftrugglcd a whole Year with an Ague, he went Home to his Guardians, having by this Time furnidied himfelf with an indifferent good Style, by daily reading the beft Authors. One of his Guardians was carried off by the Plague ; the other two not having managed his Fortune with the grcaccil Care, began to contrive how they

A 4 might

[8]

might fix him in fome Monaftery. Erafmus {lill languifhing un- der thislndifpofiuon, rho' he had no Averfion to the Severities of a pious Life, yet he had an Averlion for a Monaftery, and there- fore delired Time to conBder of the Matter. In the mean Time his Guardians employ'd Perfons to follicit him, by fair Speeches, and the Menaces of whac he muft expedt, if he did not comply, to bring him over. In this Interim they found out a Place for him in Siojt a College of Canons Re- gulars near Delft, which was the principal Houfe belonging to that Chapter. When the Day came that lErafmus was to give his final Anfwer, he fairly told them, he neither knew what the World was, nor what a Monaftery was, nor yet, what himfelf was, and that he thought it more advifeable for him to pafs a few Years more at School, till he came to knovv' himfelf better. Teter Winkel perceiving that he was immoveable in this Refolution, fell inro a Rage, telling him, he had taken a great deal of Pains to a fine Purpofe in- deed, who had by earneft Sollicitations, provided a good Preferment for an obftinate Boy, that did not underftand his own Intereft : And having given him fome hard Words, told hinj,, that from that Time he threw up hisGuardianfliip, and now he might look to himfelf. Erafmus prefently re- ply'd, that he took him at his firft Word ^ that he was now of that Age, that he thought himfelf capable of taking Care of himfelf. When his Guardian faw that threatning would not do any thing with him, he fet his Brother Guardian, who was his Tutor, to fee what he could do v/ith him : Thus was Erafmus furrounded by them and their Agents on all Hands. He had alfo a Companion that was treacherous to him, and his old Com.panion his Ague ftuck dole to him ; but all thefe would not make a monaftick Life go down wiih him , till at laft, by meer Accident, he went to pay a Vifit at a Monaftery of the fame Order at Emaus or Steyn rear GovJe, where he found one Cornelius, who had been his Chamber-fellow at Dai'eiiter. He had not yet taken the Habit, but had travelled ro Italy, and came back wkhout making any grear Im.provements in Learning. This Ccrnc- Jius, with all the Eloquence he was Mafter of, was continu- ally ferting out the Advantages of a religious Life, the Con- veniency of noble Libraries, Retirement from the Hurry of the World, and heavenly Company, and the like. Some intic'd him on one hand, others urg'd him on the other, his Ague ftuck clofe to him, fo that at laft he was induc'd to pitch upon this Convent. And after his Admifiion he was ted up with great Promifes t& engage him to cake upon him

the

[pi

tlie holy Cloth. Altho' he was but young, he foon percei- ved how vaftly ^lort all Things there fell of anfwering his Expedations j however^ he fet the whole Brotherhood to ap- plying their Minds to Study. Before he profeffed himfelf he would have quitted the Monaftery ; but his own Modefty, the ill Ufage he was treated with, and the Neceffities of his Circumftances, overcame him, fo that he did profefs him- felh Not long after this, by the means of Gulielmut Her- Tnanms of Biida, his intimate Affociare, he had the Honour to be known to Henry a Bergis Bifhop of Cambray, who was then in Hopes of obtaining a Cardinal's Hat, which he had obtained, had not Money been wanting : In order to follicit this Affair for him, he had Occafion for one that was Mafter of the L^?i?/ Tongue ; therefore being recommended by the Bifhop of Utrecht, he was fent for by him j he had alfo the Recommendation of the Trior, and General, and was entertained in the Bilhop's Family, but flill wore the Habit of his Order : But the BiHiop, difappointed in his Hope of wearing the Cardinal's Hat, Erafmus finding his Patron fickle and wavering in his AfFedions, prevail'd with him to fend him to Tarii, to profecute his Studies there. He did fo, and promifed him a yearly Allowance, but it was never paid him, according to the Cuftom of great Men. He was admitted of Montague College there, but by reafon of ill Diet and a damp Chamber, he contradled an Indifpofition of Body, upon which he returned to the Bifhop, who en- tertain'd him again courceoufly and honourably : Having re- cover'd his Health, he return'd into Holland, with a Defign to fettle there ^ but being again inviied, he went back to Taris. But having no Patron to fupport him, he rather made a Shift to live (to ufe his own Expreffion) than to fludy there j and undertook the Tuition of an Efiglijh Gen- tleman's two Sons. And the Plague returning there periodi- caHy for many Years, he was obliged every Year to return into his own Country. At length it raging all the Year long, he retir'd to Louvain.

After this he vifited Ei?gland, going along with a young Gentleman, to whom he was Tutor, who, as he fays him- felf, was rather his Friend than his Patron. In England he was received with univerfal Refpect j and, as he tells us himfelf in his Life, he won the Af&dtions of all good Men in our Illand. During his Refidence here, he was intimate- ly acquainted with Sir Thomas More, William Warhatrii Archbilhop of Canterbury, John Colet, Dean of ^t. Tauls, the Founder of St. Pauh School, a Man remarkable for the Re- gularity of his Life, great Learning and Magnificence j with

Hu^h

[ «° ]

Hugh Latimer Bifhop of Winchejler, Linacre, Grochius, andf many other honourable and learned Perfons, and pafTed fome Years at Cambridge, and is faid to have taught there ^ but whether this was after his firft: or fecond Time of vifiting Eng- land, I do not determine : However, not meeting with the Preferment he expeded, he went away hence to make a Jour- ney to Italy, in the Company of the Sons of BaptifiaBoetius, a Genoefe, Royal ProfeCfor of Phyfick in England • which Country, at that Time, could boaft of a Set of learned Men, not much inferior to the Augufian Age : But as he was going to Erance, it was his ill Fortune, at Dover, to be ftripp'd of all he had ; this he feems to hint at in his Colloquy, intitled, the Heligious Pilgrimage : But yet he was fo far from revenging the Injury, by refledting upon the Nation, that he immediately publifhed a Book in Praife of the King and Country ; which Piece of Generofity gained him no fmall Refpedt in England. And it appears by feveral of his Epiftles, that he honoured England next to the Place of his Nativity.

It appears by Epifi. lo. Lib. 16. that v/hen he was in Eng~ la7id Learning fiourifhed very much here, in that he writes, Apud Anglos triumphant home Lit era 3 re^a Studia j and in Epifi 12. Lib. 16. he makes no Scruple to equal it to Italy it felf; and Epiji. 26. Lib. 6. commends thcEngli/b Nobility for their great Application to all ufeful Learning, and en- tertaining themfelves at Table with learned Difcourfes, when the Table-Talk of Churchpien was nothing but Ribaldry and Profancnefs. In Epifi. 10. Lib. 5. which he addrefTes to An- drelinus, he invites him to come into England, recommend- ing it as worth his While, were it upon no other Account, than to fee the charming Beauties with which this Ifland a- bounded ; and in a very pleafant Manner defcribes to him the Complaifance and innocent Freedom of the Englifb Ladies, telling him, that when he came into a Gentleman's Houfe he was allowed to falute the Ladies, and alfo to do the fame at taking Leave : And tho' he feems to talk very feelingly on the Subjed, yet makes no Refledions upon the Virtue of EnglifJj Women. But to return to him j as to his Voyage to Italy, he proiecuted his Journey to Turin, and took the Degree of Doftor of Divinity in that Univerfity j he dwelt a whole Year in Bolognia, and there bbtain'd a Difpenfation from Pope Julian to put off his Canon's Habit, but upon Con- dition not to put off the Habit of Prieil j and after that went to Venice, where was the Printing-Houfe of the famous Ma- putius Aldus, and there he publiflied his Book of Adagies, and flaying fome Time there, v/rote feveral Treatifes, and kad the Converfation of many eminent and learned Men,

From

1 1' ]

From thence he went to Vadua, where at that Time Alexatt' der the Son of James King of Scotland, and Bifhop of St. Aw- drews in Scotland, ftudied, who chofe Erafmus for his Tutor in Rhetorickj and went to Seana, and thence to Rome, where his great Merits had made his Prefence expeded long before. At Rome he gained the Friendfhip and Efteem of the moft conliderable Perfons in the City^ was offered the Dignity of a Penitentiary, if he would have remained there : But he returned back to the Archbiftiop, and not long after went with him again to Italy, and travelling farther into the Coun- try, went to Cuma, and vifited the Cave of Sybilla. After the Death of the Archbifliop he began to think of returning to his own Country, and coming over the Rhetian Alps, went to Ar- gentorat, and thence by the Way of the Rhi?ie into Holla^id, having in his Way vifiited his Friends at Antwerp and Lorain ; but Henry VIII. coming to the Crown of England, his Friends here, with many Invitations and great Promifes, prevailed up- on him to come over to England again, where it was his Purpofe to have fettled for the remaining Part of his Life, had he found Things according to the Expedtation they had given him : But how it came about is uncertain, whether Erafmus was wanting in making his Court aright to Cardinal Wolfe J, who at that Time manag'd all Things at his Piea- fure ; or, whether it were that the Cardinal look'd with a jealous Eye upon him, becaufe of his intimate Friendfliip with William Warham, Archbifliop of Canterbury, who had taken him into his Favour, between whom and Wolfey there was continual Clafliing, (the Cardinal after he had been made the Pope's Legate, pretending a Power in the Archbiihoprick of Canterbury.) On this Difappointment he left England, and went to Flanders J Archbifliop 1^^?'/::'-.'?^ had indeed fliewed his Efteem for him, in giving him the Living of Aldington. In fliort, Er<?/7/;«/ takes Notice of the Friendfhipber ween lumfelf and Warham in the Colloquy called. The Religious Pilgrimage.

As to his Familiarity with Sir Thomas More, there are fe- veral Stories related, and efpecially one concerning the Dif- putes that had been between them about Tranfubfiantiation, or the real Prefence of Chi'iftinthe confecrated Wafer, of which Sir Thomas was a llrenuous Maintainer, and Erafmus an Op- ponent j of which, when Erafmus favv he was too Itrongly byaf- fed to be convinced by Arguments, he at laft made ufe of the following facetious Retortion on him.« It feems in their Dif- putes concerning the real Prefence of Chrift in the Sacrament, which were in Latin, Sir Thomas had frequently ufed this Ex- preflion, and laid the Strefs of his Proof upon the Force of Beliwing, Credr^Hodedisc^edir^i.c, Believe you eat [Chriftl

and

and you do eat him 5 therefore 'B.rafmus anfwers him, Crecte ^uod babes (ir babes. Believe that you bave \^your Horfi] and you have him. It feems, at Erafmus's going away. Sir Thojnas had lent him his Horfe to carry him to the Sea fide or Dover ; but he either carried him with him over- Sea to Hollar d, or fent him not back to Sir Thomas, at leaft for fome Time j up- on which Sir Thomas writing to Erapnus about his Horie, Erafrnus is faid to have written back to him as follows.

Ut mihi fcripjifii de corpore Chrifii» Crede quod edis ^ edis. I 2ic tibi refcribo de tuo Palfrido ;

Crede quod babes ^ babes.

Being arrived at Fla?iders by the Interefl of Syhagius Chan- cellor to Charles of Aufiria, afterwards Emperor of Germanji fcnown by the Name of Charles V. he was made one of his Counfellors.

Xwihtmo.'iXiTxmt Johannes Erobenius, a famous Printer, ha- ving printed many of his Works at Ba[d in Svjitzerland, and being much taken with the Elegancy of his Printing, and the Neatnefs of his Edition, he went thither, pretending that he undertook that Journey for the Performance of fome Vow he had made j he was kindly entertain'd by him, and publifh'd feveral Books there, and dedicated this his Book of Collo- quies to Frobenius^s Son, and refided till the Mafs had been put down there by the Reformers. When he left that Place, he reiif'u to Friburg in Alface. Before his going to Fri~ hurg, he vifucd the low Countries to fettle certain AfKiirs there. And was at Cologn at the Time that the Affembly was at Worms, which being diffolv'd, he went again to Ba~ fil, eicher, as 'ome fay, for the Recovery of his Health, or, as others, for the publifhing of feveral Books. He received the Bounty and Munificence of feveral Kings, Princes, and Popes, and was honourably entertain'd by many of the chief Cfrics which he pafs'd through. And by his Procurement, a College of three Languages was inftitured at Lduvain, at the Charge of Uieronimus Biilfudius, Governor of Aria, out of certain Monies he at his Death bequeath'd to the Ufe of ftudious and learned Men. An Account of which coming to the Ears of Francis King of France, he invited him by Letters to Paris, in oWer, by his Advice, to eredt the like College there. But certain Affairs happening, his Jour- ney thither was hindred. He went to Friburg in Alface, Vi here he bought him an Houfe, and liv'd feven Yeais in great Eilaem and Reputation, both with the chief Magi-

ftraces

t 13 ]

giftrates" and Citizens of the Place, and all Perfons of any Notd in the Univerfity, But his Diftemper, which was the Gout* coming rudely upon him, he, thinking the Change of Air would afford him Relief, fold his Houfe, and went again to Bafil, to the Houfe of Vrobenius j but he had not been there above nine Months before his Gout violently aflaulted him, and his Strength having gradually decay'd, he was feized with a Dyfentery, under which having laboured for a Month, it at lall overcame him, and he died at the Houfe of Jerovie Fro- henius, the Son of John the famous Printer, the 12th of July 1536, about Midt^ight, being about feventy Years oi Age : After his laft Retreat to Bafil, he went feldom Abroad , and for fome of the 1aft Months ilirred not our of his Cham- ber. He retained a found Mind, even to the laft Moments of his Life ; and, as a certain Author faith, bid Farewel to the World, and paffed into the State of another Life, after the Manner of a Proteftant, without the Papiftical Ceremo- nies of Rofaries, Croffes, Confeffion, Abfolution, or recei- ving the tranfubftantiated Wafer, and in one word, not de- firing to have any of the Romijb Superflitions adminiftred, but according to the true Tenor of the Gofpel, taking Sanduary in nothing but the Mercies of God in Chrift. And finding himfelf near Death, he gave many Teftimonics of Piety and Chrift ian Hope in God's Mercy, and often- times cry'd out in the German Language, Liever Godt, i. e. dear God ; often repeating, O Jefus have Mercy on me I O Lord, deliver me ! Lord, put an End to my Mifery ! Lord, have Mercy upon me.

In his laft Will, he made the celebrated Lawyer Boni-^ facius A7nerbachius\\\s¥.xecnx.o'c, bequeathing the greareft Part of his Subftance to charitable Ufes ; as for the Maintenance of fuch as were poor and difabled through Age or Sickneis ; for the Marrying of poor young Virgins, to keep them from Temptations to Unchaftity j for the maintaining hopeful Stu- dents in the Univerficy, and fuch like charitable Ufcs. In the overfeeing of his Will, he join'd with Amerbachius, tv/o others, Jerome Frobenius, and Nicholas Epifcopius, who were his intimate Friends, and whom a certain Author fays, had then efpoufed the Reformation began by Luther and other Reformers. The City of Bafil ftill pays Erafmus the Refpedt which is due to the Memory of fo eminent a Pcrfon ; they not only call'd one of the Colleges there after his Name, but fliew the Houfe where he died to Strangers, with as much Veneration as the People of Roterdam do the Houfe where he was born,

I fliall

[ >4]

I fhall not here pretend to give a Catalogue of all Erafmus's genuine Pieces^ which they fliew at Bafil : As to his Collo- ' quies and Mori^ Encomium, they have feen more Editions than any other of his Works ; and Moreri fays, that a Book- feller at Varis, who thoroughly underftood his Trade, fold twenty four thoufand of them at one Impreffion, by getting it whifper'd to his Cuftomers, that the Book was prohibited, and would fuddenly be call'd in.

He was buried at Bafil, in the Cathedral Church, on the left Side near the Choir, in a Marble Tomb i on the fore Side of which was this Infcription :

CHRISTO SERVATORL DESID. ERASMO ROTEROD. Viro omnibus modis maximo; Cujus incomparabilem in omni difciplinarum genere eru- ditionem, pari conjunftam prudentia,

Fofiert admirabuntur & prsdicabunt, BONIFACIUS AMERBACHIUS, HIERONYMUS - FROBENIUS, NICHOLAS EPISCOPIUS Hsredes, Ec nuncupati fupremae fuse voluntatis vindices * Fatrono Optimo, non Memori£, quam immortalem fibi Editis Lucubrationi- bus comparavit, eis, tantifper dum orbis Terrarum flabitj, fuper-futuro, ac eruditis ubique gentium colloquuturo : fed Corporis Mortalis,

Qiio rcconditum fit ergo, hoc faxum pofuere. Mortuus eft IV. Eidus Julias jam feptuagenarius. Anno a Chrifto nato, M. D. XXXVI.

Upon the upper Part of the Tomb is a quadrangular Bafe, upon which ftands the Effigies of the Deity of Terminus, which Erafmus chofe for the Imprefs of his Seal, and on the Front of that Bafe is this Infcription.

DES. ERASMUM ROTERODAMUM ^w?« fubhoc faxo condebant,

IV. t eid. Jul. M. D. XXXVI. In the Year 1549, a wooden Statue, in Honour of (o great a Man, was eredted in the Market-place at Roterdam ; and in the Year 1557, ^ Stone one was erected in the Stead of it ; but this having been defaced by the Spaniards in the Year 1572, as foon as the Country had recovered its Liberty it was reftored again. But in the Year 1622, inftead of it, a very com pleat one of Brafs, eight Foot high with the Pedeiial, was ereftcd, which is now ftanding on the Bridge at Roterdam, and likely long to remain there, on the Foot of which is the following Infcription.

DESIDERIO ERASMO MAGNO, Scientiarum atque Literaturse politioris viadici & i?tjlaura-

tori ;

t li]

tori : Vtro fui feculi Vr'imsino, civi omnium prasftantiflimo, ac nominis immortalitatem fcriptis aeviternis jure confecuto, S. P. a ROTERODAMUS,

Ne quod tantis apud fe fuofque pofteros inrtutibus prae- mium deeflTet, Statuam banc ex sere Publico erigcndum cu- raverunt.

On the right Side, are thefe Verfes of Nicholas Heinjius. Barbarize talem fe debellator Erafmus,

Maxima laus Batavi nominis, ore tulit. "Reddidit i en, fatis, Ars obluBata finifiris, De tanto fpolium na£ia quod urna viro ejt. ^ Ingenii ccelefie jubar, majufque caduco Tempore qui reddat, fohs Erafmus erit. On the left Side, and behind, there is an Infcription in thd "Dutch Language, much to the Purport of the firft Infcription. On the Houfe where 'Erafmus was born, formerly was this lafcription.

Hac efi parva Domtis, magnits qua natus Erafmus. The fame Houfe being rebuilt and enlarged, has the followW ing Infcription.

JEdibus his ortus Mundum decor avit ErafmuSj Artihiis ingenuis, 'Religiom, Fide. As for his Stature, he was neither very low nor very tall,* his Body well fet, proportioned and handfome, neither fac nor lean, but of a nice and tender Conftitution, and eafily put out of Order with the leaft Deviation from his ordinary Way of Living; he had from his Childhood fo great an Aver- fion to eating of Fifh, that he never attempted it without the Danger of his Life, and therefore obtained a Difpenfation from the Pope from eating Fifh in Lent, as appears by the Story of Eras, (as he ftiles himfelfj in the Colloquy caU'd Ichthyo- phagia. He was of a fair and pale Complexion, had a high Forehead, his Hair, in his younger Years, inclining to yel- low, his Nofe pretty long, a little thick at the End, his Mouth fomething large, but not ill made, his Eyes grey buc lively, his Countenance chearfui and pleafant, his Voice fmal?, but mufical, his Speech diftind and plain, pleafant and jccoCe, his Gaite handfome and grave ; he had a mofl: happy Memory and acute Wit, he was very conixant .to his Friend, and ex- ceeding liberal to thofe that were under Neceffity, efpecially to ftudious and hopeful Youths, and to fuch as v/ere defti- tute in their Journey : In his Converfation he was very plea- fant and affable, free from peevifh and morofe Humours, but very witty and fatyrical. It is related, that when Erafmus was told, that Luther had married and gotten the famous Catharine Bora with Child, he fhould in a jefting Manner fay, that, if according to the popular Tradition, Antichriji

I was

[ I^]

was to be begotten between a Monk and a Nun^ the World was in a fair Way now to have a Litter of Antichrifts.

I fliall conclude with the Character given of Erafmiis by- Mr. Thomas Broxun, who comparing him with Lucian, fays. That whereas Erafmus had tranflated Part of his Dialogues into Latin, he had made Luda7i the Pattern of his Colloquies, and had copied his Graces with that Succefs, that it is diffi- cult to fay which of the two was the Original.

That both of them had an equal Averfion to auftere, fullen, defigning Knaves, of what Complexion, Magnitude, or Party foever. That both of them v/ere Men of Wit and Satyr, but that Erafmus, according to the Genius of his Country, had more of the HumOurift in him than Lucian, and in all Parts of Learning was infinitely his Superior. That Lucja?i liv'd in an Age, when Fidion and Fable had ufurp'd the Name of Religion, and Morality was debauch'd by a Set of fowr Scoundrels, Men of Beard and Grimace, but fcandalouily lewd and ignorant, who yet had the Impu- dence to preach up Virtue, and ftile themfelves Philofophers, perpetually cladiing with one another about the Precedence of their feveral Founders, the Merits of their diflFerenc Se&St and if it is poffible, about Trifles of lefs Importance ^ yet all agreeing in a different Way, to dupe and amufe the poor People by the fantaflick Singularity of their Habits, the un- intelligible Jargon of their Schools, and their Pretenfions t« a fevere and mortified Life. This motly Herd of Jugglers Lucian in a great Meafure help'd to chafe out of the World, by expofing them in their proper Colours.

But in a few Generations after him, a new Generation fprung up in the World, well known by the Name of Monks and Friars, differing from the former in Religion, Garb, and a few other Circumftances, but in the main, the fame in- dividual Impoftors J the fame everlafling Cobweb-Spinners as to their nonfenfical Controverfies, the fame abandon'd Rakehells as to their Morals j but as for the myfterious Arts ol heaping up Wealth, and picking the Peoples Pockets, as much fuperior to their PredecefTors the Tagan Philofophers, as an overgrown Favourite that cheats a whole Kingdom, is to a common Malefador.

Thefe were the fandified Cheats, whofe Follies and Vices Erajhms has fo efFedually lafli'd, that fome Countries have entirely turn'd thefe Drones out of their Cells, and in other Places Where they are flill kept, they are grown contempti- ble to the higheft Degree, and obligd to be always upon their Guard,

THE

THE

Familiar Colloquies

OF

Desiderius Erasmus,

O F

R 0 T E R D A M.

The Argument.

"this CfiJloquy teaches Court efy and Civility in Saluting^ who.^ when<i and by what 'Title ive ought to Salute.

At the Firfi Meeting.

Certain Perfon teaches, and not without Rea- fon, that [i] we Ihould Salute freely. For a courteous and kind Salutation oftentimes en- gages Friendship, and reconciles Perfons at i variance, and does undoubtedly nouridi and increafe a mutual Benevolence. There are indeed fome Perfons that are fuch [2] Churls, and of (o clownifh a Difpohtion, that if you lalute them, they will fcarcely falute you again. But this Vice is in fome Perfons

[1] Cato in his Precepts has Saluta llbenter.

[2] Moroje. Dsjnea was a morofe old Man in Terencf^

rather

CO

rather the EfFe£l of their Education:, than their natural Difpo- fition.

It is a piece of Civility to falute thofe that come in your way ; either fuch as conie to us, or thofe that we go to fpeak with. And in like manner fuch as are about any fort of Work, either at Supper, or that yawn, or hiccop, or fneez.e, or cough. But it is the Part of a Man that is civil even to an Extreme, to fa- lute one that belches, or breaks Wind backward. But he is uncivilly civil that falutes one that is making Water, or eafing Nature.

God fave you Father, God fave you [i] little Mother, God fave you Brother, God fave you my worthy Mailer, God fave you heartily Uncle, God fave you'fweet Coufin.

It is courteous to make ufe of a Title of Relation or Affinity, unlefs when it carries fomething of a Refiedion along with it, then indeed it is better not [2] to ufe fuch Titles, tho' proper, •but rather fome that are more engaging, as when we call a Mo- ther-in-law, Mother^ a Son-in-law, Son; a Father-in-law, Fa- ther ; a Sifter's Husband, Brother j a Brother's Wife, Sifter : And the fame we fhould do in Titles, either of Age or Office. For it will be more acceptable to falute an ancient Man by the Name of Father, or venerable Sir, than by the Sirname of Age ; altho' in antient Times they ufed to make ufe of a yi^v, [3] as an honourable Title. God fave you Lieutenant, God lave you Captain ; but not God fave you Hofier or Shoemaker. God five you Youth, or young Man, Old Men falute young Men that are Strangers to them by the Name of Sons, and young Men again falute them by the Name of Fathers or Sirs^

A more affe£lionate Salutation between Lovers.

God fave you my little Cornelia, my Life, my Light, my De- light, my Sweet-heart, my only Pleafure, my. little Heart, my Hppe, my Comfort, my Glory.

Either for the Sake of Honour or otherwife,

Sal O Mafter, God blefs ye. Anf Oh ! Good Sir, I widi you the fame. Sal. God blefs you moft accompliili'd, and mofl:

[i] Erafmus delights in diminutive Nouns.

[z] Aiiuti is not here to be taken in a bad Scnfe'j both Erafmus and Tt:- rence ufe it for Uti.

[3] It is a Greek Word , fignifying O old Man ; a Title frequent among tlis Hebrews^ Lfiisdmomns, a«d Bitnanh

famous

famous Sir. God blefs you again and again thou Glory of Learning. God fave you heartily roy very good Friend. God fave you my [i] Mecanas. Avf. God fave you my fingular Patron. God fave you, moft approved Sir. God fave you, the only Ornament of this Age. God blefs you, the Delight of Germany. Sal. God blefs you all together. God blefs you all ahke. Anf God blefs you my brave Boys. Sal. God fave you merry Companion. God blefs you Deftroyer of Wine. Anf. God blefs you Glutton, and unmerciful De- vourer of Cakes. Sal. God blefs you heartily Prefidcnt of all Virtue, Anf. God'blefs you in like manner. Pattern of uni- verfal Honeily. Sal. God fave you lirde old Woman of Fif- teen Years of Age. Anf God fave you Girl, Eighty Years old. Sal. Much good may it do you with your bald Pate. iAnf. And much good may it do you wich your flit Nofe. As you falute, fo you fliall be faluted again. If you fay that which is ill, you Hiall hear that which is worfe. Sal. God fave you again and again. Anf. God fave you for ever and ever. Sal. God flive you more than a thoufand times. Anf In truth I had rather be well once for all. Sal. God blefs you as much as you can defire. Anf. And you as much as you deferve. Sal. I wifli you well. Anf But what if I won't be fo .? In truth I had rather be fick, than :o enjoy the Health that you want.

God blefs your Holinefs, Your Greatnefs, Your Highnefsi Your Majefly, Your Beaticude, Your High Mightinefs,

are Salutations rather us'd by the Vulgar, than approved by the Learned.

In the Third 'P effort.

Sapidus wifhes Health to his 'Erafifius.

Sapidus falutes his Beatus, wifhing him much Health.'

Another Form.

Sal. God blefs you Crito, I wifh you well good Sir. Anf And I wifh you better. Peace be to thee Brother, is indeed a Chriflian Salutation, borrow'd from the yews j but yet not

[i] Mofl: learned and illuftrious Patron, for Mec^enas was a Patron a- mong the learned Men, and a great Favourite of Augujiui Ciejar.

B a to

[4]

to be rejeded. And of the like kind i?, A happy Life to youl ■Hail Maflcr, ^^^f. In truth I had rather have than crave, [i] X(w?s- -^»f Remember you are at Bafil, and not at Athens, how do you then dare to fpeak Latin when you are not at 'Rome ?

Forms of TVell-'wifilng, . And to wifli well is a fort of Salutation.

To a Woman 'with Child,

God fend you a good Delivery, and that you may make your Husband Father of a fine Child. May the Virgin Mother make you a happy Mother. I wifh that this fwell'd Belly rpay affvvage happily. Heaven grant that this Burthen you carry, whatfoever it is, may have as eafy an out-coming as it had an in-going. God give you a good Time.

To Guefls.

Happy be this Feafli. Much Good may it do all the Com- pany. I wiiTi all Happinefs to you all. God give you a hap- py Banquet.

To one that fneezes.

May it be lucky and happy to you. God keep you. May it be for your Health. God blefs it to you.

7(? one that is about to hegin any Biifmefs.

May it prove happy and profperous for the Publick Good. May that you are gorng about be an univerfal Good. God profper what you are abou". God blefs your Labours. God blefs your Endeavours. I pray that by God's Affiftance you may happily finifh what you have begun. May Chrift in Heaven profper what is under your Hand. May what you have begun end happily. May what you are fet about end happily. You are about a good Work, I wiili you a good End of it, and that propitious Heaven snay favour your pious Undertakings. Chrift give Profperity to your Enterprise. May what you have undertaken profper. I heartily beg of

{i] Xaifi comes from Xst/fa j to rejoice,

Almighty

Almighty God that this Defign may be as fuccef^ful as it is honourable. May the Affair fo [i] happily begun, more hap- pily end. I wiOi you a good Journey to Italy:^ and a better Return. I vvirti you a happy Voyage, and a more happy R.e- turn. I pray God that, this Journey being happily perfcrm'd, we may in a fhort Time have the Opportunity of congratu- lating you upon your happy Return. May it be your good Fortune to make a good Voyage thither and back again. May your Journey be pleafanr, but your Return more pleafant. I wifli this Journey may fucceed according to your Hearts De- fire. I wifh this Journey may be as pleafant to you, as the want of your good Company in the mean time will be trou- blefome to us. May you fet Sail with promifing Prefages. I widi this Journey may fucceed according to both our VVifhes. I wifh this Bargain may be for the Good and Advantage of us both. I widi this may be a hapj^y Match to us all. The bleffed Jefus God keep thee. Kind Heaven return you fafe. God keep thee who art one half of my Life. I wifh you a fate Return. I willi that this New- Year may begin happily, go on more happily, and end moft happily to you, and thac you may have many of them, and every Year happier than other. A72f. And I again wifli you many happy Ages, thac you mayn't wifh well to me gratis. I wifh you a [2] glori- ous Day to Day. May this Sun-rifing be a happy one to you. Anf I wifh you the fame. May this be a happy and a pro- fperous Morning to both of us. Father, I wifli you a good Night. I wifh you good Repofe to Night. May you Ikep Iweedy. God give you good Reft. May you lleep without dreaming. God fend you miay either fleep fweecly or dreara pleafantly. A good Night to you. Anf Since you always love to be on the getting Hand, I wifli you a thoufand Hap- pinefTes to one you willi to me.

Farewell at parting. ■

Fare ye all well. Farewell. Take care of your Health. Take a great Care of your Health. I bid you good by. Time calls me away, fare ye well. I wifli you as well as may be.

[l] Bonis A'vihus.'\ A Phrafe taken from the Auguries, for the Augurs usM to forete] future Things by the fiying, finging, and feeding of Birds.

[2] Candidas.'^ This is taken from the Cuftom of the. .'Ihracian:, who «fed to mark a fortunate Day with White, and an unfortunate one with black.

B 3 Farewel

in

Farewel [i] mightily, or if you had rather have it fo, iuftily. Fare you well as you are worthy. Fare you as well as you deferve Farewel for thefe two Days. If you fend me away, farewel till to-morrow. Would you have any thing with me ? Have you any thing elfe to fay to me ? yinf. Nothing but to wifh you well. Take care to preferve your Health. Take care of your Health. Look well to your Health. See that at the next Meeting we fee you merry and hearty. I charge you make much of your felf. See that you have a found "Mind in a healthful Body. Take care you be univerfally well bo:h in Body and Mind. ^nf. Til promife you I will do my Endeavoar. Sal. Fare you well alfo^ and I again wifh yoa profperous Health.

Of fainting by another.

Sal. Remember my hearty Love to Frohfiius. Be fure to remember my Love to litde Eraf?mts. Remember me to Gertrude's Mother with all imaginable Refped; tell them I ■wilh 'em all well. Remember me to my old Companions. Remember me to my Friends. Give my Love to my Wife. Remember me to your Brother in your Letter. Remember my Love to my Kinfman. Have you any Service to com- mand by me to your Friends } Aiif Tell them I wiih them all heartily well. Have you any Recommendations to fend by me to your Friends } Anf. Much Health to them all, but efpecially to my Father. Are there any Perfons to whom you would command me any Service? To all that ask how I do. The Health you have brought from my Friends to me, carry back again with much Intereft. Carry my hearty Service to all them that have fcnt their Service to me. Pray do fo much as be my Reprelentative in faluting my Friends. I would have written to my Son-in-law, but you will ferve meinflead of a L'.'iter to him. Soho, foho, whither are you going fo fall? Avf. Strait to Lovain. Stay a little, I have foroething to fend by you. Anf. But it is inconvenient for a Footman to carry a Fardel. What is it ? Avf. That you recommend me to Goclenm, Rutgerus, John Campenfis , and all the Society of

[i] Par.cratice.'\ Luftily, of the Greek wetiTu, all Things; and n^dLTiiv, to obtain. The Greeks had five Sorts of Exercifes, Running, Quoit-playing, Leaping, Wrcftling, and Handy-cuffs j and whofoever came off Viftor in all thefe Exercifes was called Tturrax^wxa^M, which no Body could do unlefs he was in a confirmed State of Healtji, '

[i] Trilinguifts.

C7]

[i] Trllinguifts, Anf. If you put nothing into my Snapfack but Healths, I fhall carry them with Eafe. Sal. And that you may not do that for nothing, I pray that Health may be your Companion both going and coming back.

How we ought to congratulate one that is returned from

a journey,

Sal. We are glad you are come well Home. It is a Plea- fure that-you are come Home fafe. It is a Pleafure to us that you are come well Home. We congratulate your happy Re- turn. We give God Thanks that you are come fafe Home to us. The more uneafy we were at the want of you, the more glad we are to fee you again. VVe congratulate you and ourfelves too that you are come Home to us alive and well. Your Return is the more pleafant by how much it was leis expected. Anf. I am glad too that as I am well myfelf I find you fo. I am very glad to find you in good Heakh. I (hould not have thought mvfelf well come Home if I had not found you'v/ell j but now I thinly myfelf fafe, in that I fee you fafe and in good Health.

A Form of asking ^uefiions at the firfi meeting.

The Argument.

27^/5 Colloquy teaches Forms of enquiring at the firfi meeting. PVhence come you ? What Neivs bring you ? Hoiv do you do ? &c.

GEORGE, LIVINUS.

GEORGE. Out of what Hen-Coop or Cave came you? Liv. Why do you ask me fuch a Queftion '? Ge. Becaufe you have been fo poorly fed ; you are fo thin a body may lee thro' you, and as dry as a Kecks. Whence came you from ? Liv. From Montacute College. Ge. Then fure you are come loaden with Letters for us. Liv. Not fo, but wkh Lice come

f i] That oiiderftood three Tongues, Hebrew, Creek, and Latin,

B 4 lam.'

[8]

I am. Ge. Well then you had Company enough. L/'y/Tri'' truih it is not .{afe for a Traveller now-a-days to go withod't Company. Ge. I know well enough a Loufe is a Scholar'^ Companion. Weil but do you bring any News from Paris'? LiTJ. Ay, I do, and that in the firll place that I know you won't believe. At Paris a [i] Bete is wife, and an Oak prea- ches. Gc. What's that you tell me ? Liv. That which you hear. Ge. What is it I hear? Liv. That which I tell you. Gi. O monftrous ! Sure Mufhrooms and Stones muft be the Hearers where there are fuch Preachers. Liv. Well, but it is even Co as I tell you ; nor do I fpeak only by heariay, but Vv'hat I knov/ to be true Ge. Sure Men muft needs be very wife there v/here Betes and Oaks are fo. Liv. You are in the right on'c.

Of enquiring concerning Health.

Ge. Are you well ? Ltv. Look in my Face. Ge. Why do you not rather bid me cafl your Water .^ Do you take me for a Doctor } I don't ask you if you are in Health, for your Face befpeaks you fo to be ; but I ask you how you like your own Condition } Liv. I am very well in my Body, but fick in my Mind. Ge. He's not well indeed that is fick in thac Pare. Liv. This is my Caie, I'm well in my Body, but fick in my Pocket. Ge. Your Mother will eafily cure that Di- ll:emper. How have you done for this long Time } Liv. Sometimes better, and fometimes worie, as human Affairs commonly go. Ge. Are you very well in liealth ? Are your Affairs i;i a good Condition } Are your Circumllances as you V'Guld have them .? Have you always had your Health well ? Liv. Very well, I thank God , By God's Goodnefs I have always had my Health very well. I have always been very we'l hitherto, I have been in very good, favourable, fecure, happy, profperous, fuccefsful, perfect Health, like a Prince, like a Champion, fit for any thing. Ge. God fend you may always enjoy the fame. I am glad to hear it. You give me a PlsafLire in faying fo. It is very pleafant to me to hear that. I am glad at my Heart to hear this from you. This is no bad News to me. I am exceeding glad to hear you fay fo. I wifh you may be fo always. I wiili you may enjoy the fame Health as long as you live. In congratulating you, I joy my

[i] There were at that time fit Paris two Mafters of Note , nam'd Dc Bete and Dti Ctefn^y which Erafmus calls by the Latin Names of Bira and Shicrcus, a ^etc and an Ouk.

felf.

felf. Thanks to Heaven for it. Li. Indeed I am very well if- you are fo. Ge. Welh but have you met with no trouble all this while ? Li. None but the want of your good Com- pany, Ge. Well, but ho\v do you do though? Li. Well enoufi^h, finely, bravely, very well as may be, very well indeed, happily, commodioufly, no way amifs. I enjoy rather what Health I wifli, than what I defervtd. ' Princely, Herculean, Champion like, Ge. I was expedting when you would fay Bull like too.

Of being III.

Ge. Are you in p;ood Health ? Li. I wifh I were. Not al- together fo well as I would be. Indeed I am fo, fo. Pretty well. I am as well as I can be, fince I can'r be fo well as I would be. jA®I ufetobe. So as it pleafes God. Truly noc very well. Never worfe in all my Life. As I am wont to be. I am as they ufe to be who have to do with the Dodor. Ge. How do you do.? Li. NotasI would do. Ge. Why truly not well, ill, very ill, in an unhappy, unprofperous, unfavou- rable, bad, adverfe, unlucky, feeble, dubious, indifferent. State of Health, not at all as I would, a tolerable, fuch as I would not wifh even to my Enemies. Ge. You tell me a me- lancholy Story. Heavehs forbid it. God forbid. No more of that I pray. I widi what you fay were not true. But you muft be of good Chear, you mail: pluck up a good Heart, A good Heart is a good Help in bad Circumftances, You muft bear up your Mind with the Hope of better Fortune, What Diftem- per is it? What fort of Difeafe is it? What Diftemper is ic that afflids you ? What Diflemper are you troubled with? «JL/. I can't tell, and in that my Condition is the more dan- gerous. Ge. That's true, for when the Difeafe is known, it is half cured. Have you had the Advice of any Doctor ? Li. Ay, of a great many. Ge. What do they fay to your Cafe ? Li. W hat the Lawyers of Demtphon (in the Play j faid to him. One fays one Thing, another he fays another, and the third he'll confider of it. But they all agree in this, that I am in a fad Condition. Ge. How longjiave you been taken with this Illnels? How long have you been ill of this Diftemper ? How long has this lUnefs feiz'd you? Li. About twenty Days more or lefs, almoft a Month. It's now near three Months. It feems an Age to me Hnce I was firft taken ill, Ge. But I think you ought to take -care that the Diftemper don't grow upon you. Li. Ic has grown too much upon me already. Ge. h it a Dropfy ? Li. They

fay

[ >° ]

fay it is not. Ge. Is it a DifTenrery ? Li. I think not Gel Is it a Fever ? Li. I believe it is a Kind of a Fever j but a new one, as ever and anon nev/ ones fpring up that were unknov/n before. Ge. There were more old ones than enough before. Li. Thus it pleafes Nature to deal with us, Vv'hich is a little too feverc. Ge. How often does the Fit come ? Li. How ofcen do you fay ? Every Day, [i] nay every Hour indeed. Ge. O wonderful ! It is a fad Afflidion. How did you get this Diftemper ? How do you think you came by it? Li. By Reafon of Want. Ge. Why you don't ufe to be fo fuperftkious as to ftarve your felf with fading. Li. It is not Bigotry but Penury. Ge. What do you mean by Penury ? IJ. I mean I could get no Viduals, I believe it came by a Cold. I fancy I got the Diftemper by eating rotten Eggs, By drinking too much Water in my Wine. This crudity in my Stomach came by eating green Apples. Ge. But confider whether you han't contradted this Diftemper by long and late Studying, by hard Drinking, or immoderate ^ of Venery ? Why don'c you fend for a Dodtor.^^ Li. I am afraid he fhould do me more harm than good. I am afraid he fhould Poifon me inftead of curing me. Ge. You ought to chufe one that .you can confide in. Li. If I muft dye, I had rather dye once for all, than to be tormented with fo many Slops. Ge. Well then, be your own Dodor, If you can't truft to a Do6tor, pray God be your Phyfician. There have been fome that have recover'd their Health, by putting on a Domi- nican or a Francifcan Fryars Cowl. Li. And perhaps it had been the fame Thing, if they had put on a Whore-mafter's Cloak. Thefe things have no EfFeft upon thofe that have no Faith in 'em. Ge. Why then, believe that you may reco- ver. Some have been cur'd by making Vows to a Saint. Li. But I have no Dealings widi Saints. Ge. Then pray to Chrift that you may have Faith, and that he would be pleafed to beftow the Bleffing of Health upon you. Li. I can't tell whe- ther it would be a Bleffing or no. Ge. Why, is it not a Blef- fing to be freed from a Diftemper ? Li. Sometimes it is bet- ter to dye. I ask nothing of him, but only that he'd give me what would be beft for me. Ge. Take Ibmething to purge you. Li. I am Laxative enough already. Ge. Take fome- thing to make you go to Stool. You muft take a Purge. Li. I ought to take fomeching that is binding rather, for I am too Laxative.

[i] Euripus was a Strait or Arm of the Sea, betwixt Eubea, and Bottbia in Ciace. that ufed to ebb and flow feven Times a Day.

Of

[ " 1

Of enquiring of a Perfon upon his Return.

The Argument.

Of interrogating a Perfon returning from ajourney^ con- cerning ff'^ar^ private Affairs^ a Difappointment^ great Promifes^ a Wife Lying-in^ Dangers^ Loffes^ &c.

GEOV-GE, Have you had a good and profperons Jour- ney? L?. Pretty good j bucthai there is fuch robbing every where. Ge. This is the Effedt of War. U. It is fo, but it is 3" wicked one. Ge. Did you come on Foot or on Horfe-back ? lui. Part of the Way a Foot, Part in a Coach^ Part on Horfe- back, and Part by Sea. Ge. How go Matters in France ? Li. All's in Confufion, there's nothing but War talk'd of. What Mifchiefsthey may bring upon their Enemies Iknownotj but this I'm fure of, the French themfelves are afflided with uney- preffible Calamities. Ge. Whence come all thefe tumultuary Wars? Li. Whence fhould they come but from the Ambition of Monarchs. Ge. Bat it would be more their Prudence to appeafe thefe Storms of human Affairs. Li. Appeafe'em! Ay, {o they do, as the South Wind does the Sea. They fancy them- felves to be Gods, and that the World was made for their Sakes. Ge. Nay, rather a Prince was made for the good of the Com- monwealth, and not the Commonwealth for the Sake of the Prince. Li. Nay, there are Clergymen too, whoblow uptlie Coals, and found an Alarm to thefe Tumults. Ge. I'd have them fet in the Front of the Battel. Li. Ay, ay, but they rake care to keep out of Harm's Way. Ge. But let us leave thefe publick Affairs to Providence. How go your ov/n Matters? Li. Very well, happily, indifferently well, tolerably. Ge. How goes it with your own Bufinefs ? As you would have it. Li. Nay, better than I could have wifli'd for, better than I deferve, beyond what I could have hop'd for. Ge. Are all things ac- cording to your Mind ? Is all well ? Has every Thing fuc- ceeded ? Li. It can't be worfe. It is impodible it (hould be worfe than it is. Ge. What then, hin't you got what you fought for? Han't you caught the Game you hunted? Li. Hunt! Ay, I did hunt indeed, but with very [i] ill Succeis. Ge. But is there no Hope then ? Li. Hope enough, but no-

[i] Delia is the Goddefs of hunting, l"o called of the Illand Deios, where fhc }-; faid to have been born»

2 thing

[I.]

thing elfe. Ge. Did the Birtiop give you no Hopes? LL Yes, whole Cart Loads, and whole Ship Loads of Hopej but nothing elfe. Ge. Has he fent you nothing yet? Li. He promis'd me largely, but he has never fent me a Far- thing. Ge. Then you muft live in Hopes. Li. Ay, but that •won't fill the Belly ; they that feed upon Hope, may be faid to hang, but not to live. Ge. But however then, you were the lighter for travelling, not having your Pockets loaded. Li, I confefs that, nay, and fafer tooj for an empty Pocket is the beft Defence in the World againft Thieves j but for all that, I had rather have the Buidien and the Danger too. Ge. You was not robb'd of any Thing by the Way, I hope? Li. Robb'd ! What can you rob a Man of that has nothing? There was more Reafon for other Folks to be afraid of me, than I of them, having never a Penny in my Pocket. I might ling and be ftarved all the Way I went. Have you any thing more to fay? Ge. Where are you going now? Li. Strait Home, to fee how all do there, vv'hom I han't fcen this long Time. Ge. I wifli you may find all well at Home. Li. I pray God I may. Has any thing new happen'd at our Houfe fince I went away ? Ge. Nothing but only you'll find your Family bigger than it was j for your Catu/a has brought you a litde Catuius fince you have been gone. Your Hen has laid you an Egg. Li. That's good News, I like your News, and I'll promiletogiveyouaGofpel for it. Ge. What Gofpel ? The Gofpel according to St. Matthew ? Li. No, but according to Ho7ner. Here take it. Ge. Keep your Gof- pel to your felf, I have Stones enough at Home. Li. Don't fl'ght my Prefent, it is the Eagle's Stone ; It is good for Women with Child ^ it's good to bring on their Labour. Ge. Say you fo ? Then it is a very acceptable Prefent to me, and I'll endeavour to make you Amends. Li- The Amends is made already by your kind Acceptance. Ge. Nay, nothing in the World could come more feafonably, for my Wife's Belly is up to her Mouth almoft. Li. Then I'll make this Bargain with you ; that if fhe has a Boy, you fhall let me be the Godfather. Ge. Well I'll promife you that, and that you fhall Name it too. Li. I wifh it may be for both our good- Ge. Nay, for all our good.

MJURICE, CTPRIJN. ,

Ma. You are come back fatter than you ufed to be : You

are returned taller. Cy. But in truth I had rather it had been

- - ' wifer*

C '3 ]

wifer, or more learned. Ma. You had no Eeatd when you went away i but you have brought a little one back with you. You are grown fotnewhatholdifh iince you v/ent away. Whac makes you lock fo pale, fo lean, lb wrinkled .? Cy. As is my Fortune, io is the Habit of my Body. Ma. Has it been biic bad then ? Cy. She never is othervvife to me, but never vvorfe in my Life than now. Ma. I am forry for that. I am forry for' your Misfortune. But pray, what is this Mifchance .^ Cy. I have loft all my Money.' Ma. What in the Sea? Cy. No, on Shore, before I went aboard. Ma. Where .^Cy. Upon the Englijb Coaft. Ma. It is well you fcap'd with your Life ^ it is better to lofe your Money , than that ^ the lofs of ones good Name, is worie than the Lofs of Money. Cy. My Life and Reputation are fafej but my Money is loft. Ma. Thg Lofs of Life never can be repair'd j the Lofs of Reputation very hardly j but the Lofs of Money may eafily be made up one Way or another. But how came it about.' Cy. I cau'c tell, unlefs it was my Defbiny. So it pleas'd God. As the [i] Devil would have it. Ma. Now you fee that Learning and Virtue are the fafeft Riches ; for as they can't be takea from a Man, fo neither are they burthenfome to him that car- ries them. Cy. Indeed you Philofophize very vvellj but in ihs mean Time I'm in Perplexity.

CLAUD lUS, BALBUS.

Cl I am glad to fee you v/ell come Home Balbus. Bal And 1 to fee you alive Claudim. Cl. You are welcome Home into your own Country again. Ba. You fhould rather congratulate mie as a Fugitive from Vrance. Cl. Why fo ^ Ba. Becaufe they are all up in Arms there. Cl. Butvvhan have Scholars to do with Arms. Ba. But there they don't fpare even Scholars. Cl. It is well you're got off dk. Ba. But I did not get ofF without Danger neither. Cl. You are come back quite another Man than you went away. Ba. Howfo? Cl. Why, of a Dutch Man, you are become a French Man. Ba. Why was I a [2] Capon when I went away? C/. Your Drefi fhows that you're turn'd from zButch Man into a Wrench Man. Ba. I had rather fuxFer this Meta- morphofis, than to be turn'd into a Hen. But as a Cowl does

[i] The Ancient Pagans afcribed tv\^o Genius's to every Man, one of which they fancied ftudied to do him Good, and the other to do him Harm.

[2] Eraj'mus here plays upon the double Significp.tion of the Latin Word Gal- hi, which fignifies both a Frenchman and a Ccck.

not

[>4]

not mske a Monk, fo neither does a Garment a Frenchman. Cl. Have you learn'd to fpeak French"^ Ba. Indifferently well. Cl. How did you learn it ? Ba. Of Teachers that were no Dumb ones I aflure you. C/.'From whom? Ba. Of little Women, more full of Tongue, than Turtle Doves. Cl. It is eafy to learn to fpeak in fuch a School. Do you pronounce the French well ? Ba. Yes, that I do, and I pronounce Latin after the French Mode. Cl. Then you will never write good Verfes. Ba. Why fo ? Cl. Becaufe you'll make falfe Quanti- ties. Ba. The Quality is enough for me. Cl. Is Farts clear of the Plague? Ba. Not quite, but it is not continual, fome- times it abates, and anon it returns again j fometimes it flack- ens, and then rages again. Cl. Is not War it felf Plague enough ? Ba It is fo, unjefs God thought otherwife. Cl. Sure Bread muft be very dear there. Ba. There is a great Scarcity of it. There is a great want of every Thing but wicked Soldiers. Good Men are wonderful cheap there. Cl. What is in the Mind of the French to go to War with the Germans ? Ba. They have a mind to imitate the Beetle, that won't give Place to the Eagle. Every one thinks himfelf an Hercules in War. Cl. I won't detain you any longer, at fome other Time we'll divert our felves more largely, when we can both fpare Time. Ac prefent I have a little Bufinefs that calls me to another Place.

FAMILY DISCOURSE.

The Argument.

This Colloquy prefejtti us with the Sayings and Jokes of intimate Acquaintance^ and the Repartees andBehavi' our of familiar Friends one with another, i . Of walk* ing abroadry and callingCompanions. i. Of feldom i?/* fiting^ of asking comerning a JVife^ Daughter^ Sons* 3 . Concerning Leifure^ the tingling of the Ear., the JDefcription of a homely Maid, Invitation to a JVed* ding. 4. Of Studying too hardy &c.

PETER, MIDAS, a Boy, JODOCUS.

PE TE R, Soho, foho. Boy ! does no Body come to the Door? M. I think this Fellow will beat the Door down. Sure he muft needs be fome intimate Acquaintance or other.

O old

['5 3

O old Friend Peter, what haft brought ? Pe. M7 felf. Mi. In truth then you have brought that which is not much worth. Pe. But I'm fure I coft my Father a great deal. Mi. I believe foi more than you can be fold for again, Pe. But is Jodoan at Home? Mi. I can't tell, but I'll go fee. Pe. Go in firft, and ask him if he pleafes to be at home now. Mi. Go your felf, and be your [i] own Errand Boy. Pe. Soho! Jodocus, are you at home ? Jo. No, I am not. Pe. Oh ! You im- pudent Fellow ! don*t I hear you fpeak ? Jo. Nay, you are more impudent, for I took your Maid's Word for it lately, that you were not at home, and you won't believe me my felf. Pe. You're in the right on't, you've ferv'd me in my own kind, Jo. [2] As I deep not for every Body, fo I am not at home to every Body, but for Time to come fhall always beat home to you. Pe. Mechinks you live the Life of a Snail. Jo. Why fo .? Pe. Becaufe you keep always at home and never ftir abroad, juft like a lame Cob'er always in his Stall. You fit at home till your Breech grows to your Seat, Jo. At home I have fomethins; to do, but I have no Bufinefs abroad, and if I had, the Weather we have had for feveral Days paft, would have kept me from going abroad. Pe. But now it is fair, and would tempt a Body to walk our, fee h(DW charming pleafant it is, Jo. If you have a Mind to walk I won't be againft ir. Pe. In Truth, I think we ought to take the Opportunity of this fine Weather, Jo. But we ought to get a merry Companion or two, to go along with us. Pe. So we will ; but tell me who you'd have then. Jo. What if we fliould get Hugh ? Pe. There is no great Dif- ference between Hugo and Nugo. Jo. Come on then I like it mighty well. Pe. What if we (houldcsM A I ardus? Jo. He's no dumb Man I'll affure you, what he wants in Hearing he'll make up in Talking. Pe. If you will, we'll get Navius along with us too. Jo. If we have but him, we fhall never wane merry Stories. I like the Company mainly, the next Thing is to pitch upon a pleafant Place. Pe. I'll fhow you a Place where you iliall neither want the Shade of a Grove, nor the pleafant Verdure of Meadows, nor the purling Streams of Fountains, you'll fay it is a Place worthy of the Mufes them-

[i] Mercury is feigned to be the Mefienger or Footman of the Gcds, [2] This relates to the Story of one Galba, who having invited Medeitas to an Entertainment, who was in love with his Wife ; when the Feaft was over he feigned himfelf to be afleep, that Mecanas might have an Opportunity to do what he would with her ; but a Servant coming to fteal away fome of the Wine, he fays to him r.on omnibus dtrmio, I don't fleep for to give every Body an Opportunity.

felves.

[ l6 ]

felves. Jo. You proraife nobly. Pe. You are too intent upcri your Books j you fit too clofe to yoar Books j you make your lelf lean with immoderate Study. ^0. I had rather grow lean with Study than v.'ich Love. Pe. Wc don't live to ftudy, bun we therefore ftudy that we may live pleafantly. • ^o. Indeed I could live and dye in my Study. Pe. I approve well enough cf fludying hardj but not to ftudy my felf to Death. Pe. Has this Walk pleas'd you? ^o. It has been a charming plea- fant one.

2. GILES, LEONARD.

Gi. Where is our Leonardo, going? Le. I was coming to you. Gi. That you do but feldom. Le. Whyfo? Gi. Be- caufe you h^n't been to fee me this tv/elve Months. Le. 1 had rather err on that Hand to be wanted, than to be tirefome. Gi. I am never tired with the Company of a good Friend : Nay, the oftner you come the more welcome yoa are. Le. But by the Way, how goes Matters at your Houfe. Gi. Why truly not many Things as I would have them. Le. I don't wonder at that, but is your Wife brought to Bed yet ? Gi. Ay, a great while ago, and had two at a birth too. Le. How, two at once ! Gi. 'Tis as I tell you, and more than that fhe's vvith Child again. Le. That's the way to in- creafe your Family. Gi. Ay, but I wifti Fortune would en- creafe my Money as much as my Wife does my Fan:^ily. Le. Have you difpofed of your Daughter yet ? Li. No, not yet. Le. 1 would have you confider if it be not hazardous to keep fuch a great Maid as fhe at home, you Ihould look out for a Husband for her. Gi. There's no need of that, for fhe has Sv;/eet-hearts enough already, Le. But why then don't you fingle out one for her, him that you like the beft ot them? Gi. They are all fo good that I can't tell which to chufe: But my Daughter won't hear of marrying. Le. How fay you! If I am not miftaken, flie has been marriageable for fome Time. She has been fit for a Husband a great while, ripe for Wedlock, ready for a Husband this great while. Gi. Why not, <"he is above feventeen, flic's a- bove two and twenty, flie's in her nineteenth Year, flie's a- bove eighteen Years old. Le. But why is flie averfc to Mar- riage? Gi. She fays flie has a Mind to be married to Chrift. Le. In Truth he has a great many Brides. But is flie mar- ried to an evil Genius that lives chaftly with a Husband ? Gi.

I don't

[ '7 ]

1 don't think Co. Le. How came that Whimfey into her Head ? Gi. I can't tell, but there's no perfaading her out of it by all that can be faid to her. Le. You fhould take care that there be no Trickfters that inveagle or draw ber away. Gi. I know thefe , Kidnappers well enough, and I drive this kind of Cattei as far from my Houfe as I can. Le. But what do you intend to do then ? Do you intend to let her have her Humour ? Gi. No, I'll prevent it if pofTible j I'll try every Method to alter her Mind ; but if fhe pqrfifts in ir, I'll not force her a- gainft her Will, left I lliould be found to fight againft God, or rather to fight againft the Monks. Le. Indeed you fpeak very religioiifly ; but take care to try her Conftancy through- ly, left fhe fhould afterwards repent it, when it is too late. Gi. I'll do my utmoft Endeavours. Le. V/hat Employmenn do your Sons follow ? Gi. The eldeft has been marfied this ' good while, and will be a Father in a little time ; I have fenc the youngeft away to Paris, for he did nothing but play v/hile he was here. Le. Why did you fend him thither.? G/'. That he might come back a greater Fool than he went. Le. Don't talk fo. Gi. The middlemoft has lately enter'd into holy Or- ders. Le. 1 wifh 'em all well.

3. MOPSUS, DROMO.

Mo. How is it ? What are you doing Drotno ? Dr. I'm fit- ting ftill. Mo. 1 fee that ; but how do Matters go with you ? Dr. As they ufe to do with unfortunate Perfons. Mo. God forbid that that fhould be your Cafe. But what are you do- ing.? Dr. I am idling., as you fee j doing juft nothiij? at all. Mo. It is better to be idle than doing of nothings it'^rnay be I interrupt you, being employ'd in (bmc Matters of Confe- quence.? Dr. No, really, entirely at leifurcj I juft began to be tir'd of being alone, and was wJlliing for a merry Compa- nion. Mo. It may be I hinder, interrupt, difturb you, being about fome Bufinefs? Dr. No, you divert me, being tired with being idle. Mo. Pray pardon me if I have interrupted you unfeafonably. Dr. Nay, you came very feafonably j you are come in the Nick of Time; I was juft now wifliing for youi I am extreme glad of your Company. Mo. It may be you are about fome (erious Bufinefs, that I would by no means interrupt or hinder.? Dr. Nay, rather it is according to the old Proverb, Talk of the Devil and he'll appear ; for we were juft now fpeaking of you. Mo. In fhort, I believe you were, for my Ear tingled mightily as I came along. Dr. Which

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Ear was it ? Mo. My left, from which I guefs there was no Good faid of me. Dr. Nay, I'll aiTure you there was no- thing but Good faid. Mo. Then the old Proverb is not true. But" what good News have you.? Dr. They fay you are be- come a Huntfman. Mo. Nay, more than that, I have gotten the Game now in my Nets that I have been hunting after. Dr. What Game is it ? Mo. A pretty Girl, that I am to mar- ry in a Day or twoj and I intreat you to honour me with your good Company at my Wedding. Dr. Pray, who is your Bride ? Me. Alice, the Daughter of Chremes. Dr. You are a rare Fellow to chufe a Beauty for one ! Can you fancy that Black-a-top, Snub-nos'd, Sparrow-mouth'd, Paunch-bel- ly'd Creature. Mo. Prithee hold thy Tongue, I marry her to pleafe myfelf, ahd not you. Pray, is it not enough that I like her } The lefs fhe pleafes you, the more (he'll pleafe me.

4. STRUS, GE'TA.

Sy. I wifli you much Happinefs. Ge. And I wifh you dou- ble what you wilh me. Sy. What are you doing } Ge. I am talking. Sy. What! By yourfelf? Ge. As you fee. Sy. It may be you are talking to yourfelf, and then you ought to fee to it that you talk to an honefl Man. Ge. Nay, J am converfing with a very facetious Companion. Sy. With whom ? Ge. With Apulelus. Ge. That I think you are always doing, but the Mufes love Intermiffion ; you fludy continually. Ge. I am never tired with Study. Sy. It may be fo, but yet you ought to fet Bounds j though Study ought not to be omitted, yet it ought foraetimes to be intermitted ^ Studies are not to be quite thrown afide, yet they ought for a while to be laid afidej there is nothing pleafant that wants Variety j the fel- domer Pleafures are made ufe of the pleafanter they are. You do nothing elfe but ftudy. You are always ftudying. You are continually at your Books. You read inceffantly. You ftudy Night and Day. You never are buS?a ftudying. You are con- tinually at your Study. You are always intent upon your Books. You know no End of, nor fet no Bound to Study. You give yourfelf no Reft from your Studies. You allow yourfelf no Intermiifion in, nor ever give over ftudying. Ge. Very well ! This is like you. You banter me as you ufe to do. You make a Game of me. You joke upon me. You fatyri2.e me. You treat me with a Sneer. I fee how you jeer me well e- nough. You only jeft with me. I am your Laughing-ftock. 3 I am

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I am laugh'd at by you. You make yourfelf merry with me^ You make a meer Game and Sport ot me. Why doirt you put me on Affes Ears too? My Books, that are all ovcrdufty and mouldy, fiiew how hard a Readier I am, Sj. Let me die if I don't fpeak my Mind. Let me periih if I don't Ibeak as I think. Let me not laws if I diiTemble. I fpeak what [ rhink. I fpeak the Truth I fpeak (eriouUy. 1 fpeak from my Heart. I fpeak nothing but what I think.

Why don't you come to fee me ?

Ge. What's th^ matter you ha'n't come to fee me all this while? What's che matter you vifit me fo feldom ? Whac has happen'd to you Chat you never have com.e at me for fo long Time ? Why are you fo feidora a Vifitor ? What is the mean- ing that you never come near one for fo long Time ? What has hinder'd you that you have come to fee me no ofcner ? What has prevented you that you have never let me have the Opportunity of feeing you for this long Time?

I could not by reafon of Biifmcfs.

Sy. I had not Leifure. I would have come, but I could not for my Bulinefs, Bufinefs would not permii: me hirherco to come to fee you. Thefe Floods of Bufinefs that I have been plung'd in would not permit me to pay my Refpec5ts to you. I have been fo bufy I could not come. I have been harafs'd with fo many vexatious Matters t!iat I could not gee an Opportunity. I have been fo caken up wich a rroublefome Bufinefs thatl could never have fo much command of myfclf. You muft impute it to my Bufinefs, and no^ 'o me. It was not for want of Will, but Ooporcunity. I could not get Time till now. I have had no Time till nOw. I never have had any Leifure till this time/^I have been fo ill I could not come. I could not come the Weather has besn fo bad. Ge. Indeed I accept ot your Excufe, but upon this Condition, that you don't make ufe of it often. If Sicknefs has been the Occa-' fion of your Abfence, your Excufe is jutter than I w;lh it had beenj I'll excufe you upon rhis Condidon, that you make amends for your OmiiTion by Kindnefs, if you make up youi: pad Negled by your future frequent Vifits. Sy. You don't efteem thefe common Formalities, our f rieadiliip is more firm

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than to need to be fupported by fuch vulgar Ceremonies. He vifics often enough that loves conftantly. Ge. A Mifchief take thofe Incumbrances that have depriv'd us of your Company. I can't tell what to wifh for bad enough to thofe Affairs that have envy'd us the Company of lb good a Friend. A Mif- chief take that Fever that hath tormented us fo long with the want of you. I wifti that Fever may perilli, fo thou thy felt Wert but Ci^Q.

Of Commanding and Promijlng.

yjMES, SJP IDUSy

Ja. I pray you take a fpecial Care of .this Matter. I car- neftly intreat you to take care of this Affair. If you have any Refpeit for me, pray manage this Affair diligently. Pray be very careful in tnis Affair. Pray take a great deal of Care about this Bufinefs for my Sake. If you are indeed the Man I al- ways took you to be, let mc fee in this Concern what Efteem you have for me. Sa. Say no more, I'll difpatch this Affair for you> and that very fhortly too. I can't indeed warrant you , what the Event lliall be, but this I promife you, that neither Fidelity nor Induftry fhall be wanting in me. I will take more Care of it than if it were my own Affair. Tho' indeed that which is my Friend's I account as my own. I will fo manage the Affair, that whatever is wanting. Care and Diligence iliall not be wanting. Take you no Care about the Matter, I'll do it for you. Do you be eafy, I'll take the Management of it upon myfelf. I am glad to have an Opportunity put into my Hand of fhewing you my Refped. I do not promife you in Words, but I will in Reality perform whatfoever is to be ex- pected from a real Friend, and one that heartily wifhes you well. I won't bring you into a Fool's Paradife. I'll do that which lliall give you occafion to fay you trufted the Affair to a Friend.

Succefs,

Sa. The Matter fucceeded better than I could have exped-

cd. Fortune has favour'd both our Wifhes. If Fortune had

been your Wife fhe could net have been more obfervant to

you. Your Affair went on bravely with Wind and Tide. For-

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tune, has out-done our very Wifhes. You mufl: needs be a Favourite of [i} Fortune, to whom all Things fall our juft as you would have them. I have obrain'd more than I could prefume to wi'li for. This Journey has been perform'd from Beginning to End with all the fortunate Circumftances ima- ginable. The whole Affair has fallen out according to our Wilh. This Chance fell out happily for us. I think we have been lucky to Admiration, that what has been fo imprudently enterpriz'd, has fo happily fucceeded.

A giving one 'Thanki.

Ja. Indeed I thank you, and fhall thank you heartily a<; long as I live for that good Service you have done me. I can (carce give you the Thanks you deferve, and fhall never be able to make you amends, I fee how much I am oblig'd to you for your Kindnefs to me. Indeed I don't wonder ac it, for it is no new thing, and in that I am the more oblic^'d to you. My Sapidus I do, and it is my Duty to love you hear- tily for your Kindnefs to mc. In as much as in this Affair you have not aded the Part of a Courtier, I do, and always fhall thank you. I refpeft you, and thank you, that vou made my Affair your Care. You have oblig'd me very much by that Kindnefs of yours. It is a great Obligation upon me that you have manag'd my Concern with Fidelity. Of all vour Kindneffes, which are indeed a great many, you have fliew'd me none has oblig'd me more than this. I cannot poffibiy make you a Return according to your Merit Too much Ceremony between you and I is unneceffary, but that which is in my Power I'll do. I'll be thankful as long as I live. I confefs myfelf highly oblig'd to you for your good Service. For this Kindnefs I owe you more than I am able to pay. By this good Office you have artach'd me to you fo firmly, that I can never be, able to difengage myfelf You have laid ma under fo many and great Obligations, that I fhall never be able to get out of your Debt. No Slave was ever fo en^ao'd in Duty to his Mailer as you have engag'd me by this Offjce. You have by this good Turn brought me more into your Debt than ever I fhall be able to pay. I am oblig'd to you upon many Accounts, but upon none more than upon this. Thanks are due for common Kindnefs, but this is beyond the Power of Thanks to retaliate.

[i] Litaffe Rhamnufia, to have offered Sacrifice to Fortune, who was worlhipped at Mammis, a Town in -^tdca.

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The Anfwer.

Sa. Forbear thefe CorDpliments , the Friendfhip between you and I is greater than that vve fhould thank one another for any Service done. I have not beftow'd this Kindnefs upon youj but only made a return of it to you. I think the Amends is fufiicienrly made, if my moft fedulous Endeavours are ac- ceptable to you. There is no reafon you l"hould thank me for , repaying this imall Kindnefs, for thofe uncommon Kindnefies I have (b often receiv'd from you. Indeed I merit no Praife, but fhould have been the moft ungrateful Man in the World if I had b -en wanting to miy Friend. Whatfbever I have, and whatfoever I can do, you may call as much your own as any thing ih:^c you have the beft Title to. 1 look upon it as a Fa- vour that you rake my Service kindly. You pay fo great an Acknowledgment to me for fo fmail a Kindnefs, as tho' I did not owe yoj much greater. He ferves himfelf that ferves his Friend. He that ferves a Friend does not give away his Ser- vice, bur puts it out to Intereft. If you approve of my Ser- vice, pray make frequent Ufe of it^ then I Ihall think my Service is acceptable, if as often as you have occafion for it you would not requeft but command it.

Of RJ S H FO IVS.

The Argument.

'This Colloquy treats chiefly of three Things, i . Of the fuperflitious Pilgrimages of fome Perfons to Jerufalem, 'and other holy Places, under Pretence of Devotion, z. That Vows are not to he made rafloly over a Pot of Ale : but that Time^ Expence and Pains ought to he employed otherwife.^ in fuch Matters as have a real Tendency to promote true Piety. ^ . Of the Infignifi' cancy and' Abfurdity of PopiJJj Indulgcncies.

ARNOLDUS, CORNELIUS.

y^K N O L D U S. O ! Cornelius, well met heartily, you -^^ have been loft this hundred Years. Co. What my old Companion Arnoldusj the Man 1 long'd to fee moft of any

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Man in tbe World ! God fave you. We all gave thee over for loft Bat prithee where haft been rambling all this Vv'hile ? Co. In t'other World. .Ar. Why truly a Body would think fo by thy (lovenly Drefs, lean Carcafe. and ghaftly Phyz. Co. Well, but I am juft come ixom JeruJ a lem, not from the [i] Stygian Shades. Ar. What Wind blew thee thither ? Co. Whac Wind blows a great many other Folks thither ? Ar. Why Fol- ly, or elfe I am miftaken. Co. However, I am not the only Fool in the World. Ar. What did you hunt after there ? Co. Why Mifery. Ar, You might have found that nearer Home. But did you meet with any thing worth feeing there ? Co. Why truly, to fpeak ingenuoully, little or nothing. They fliew us fome certain Monuments of Antiquity, which I look upon to be moft of 'em Counterfeits, and raeer Contrivances to bubble the Simple and Credulous. I don'c think they know precifely the Place that Jernfalem anciently ftood in. Ar. What did you fee then ? Co. A great deal of Barbarity every where. Ar. But I hope you are come back more holy than you went. Co. No indeed, rather ten times worfe. Ar. Well, but then you are richer ? Co. Nay, rather poorer than [2] Joh. Ar. But don'c you repent you have taken fo long a Journey to fo little purpofe ? Co. No, nor I am not afj-iam'd neither, I have fo many Companions of my Folly to keep me in coun- tenance -J and as for Repentance, it's too late now. Ar. What: do you get no Good then by fo dangerous a Voyage.^ Co, Yes, a great deal. Ar, What is it.? Co, Why, I fliall live more pleafanrly for it for Time to come. dr. What, becaufe you'll have the Pleafure of telling old Stories v^^hen the Danger is over ? Co. That is fomething indeed, but that is not all. Ar. Is there any other Advantage in it befides that ? Co. Yes, there is. Ar What is it? Pray tell me. Co. Why, I can divert myfelf and Company, as oft as I have a mind to it, in romancing upon my Adventures over a Pot of Ale, or a good Dinner. Ar. Why, truly that is fomething, as you fay. Co. And befides, I fhall take as much Pleafure myfelf when I hear others romancing about Things they never heard nor faw ; nay, and that they do with that Aflurance, that when they are telling the moft ridiculous and impoflible Things in nature, theyperfuade themfelves they are fpeaking Truth all the while. Ar. This is a wonderful Pleafure. Well then, you have not

[i] Inferos in Latin does not mean Hell, or the Devils, but the Spirits of the Dead, which the Heathens believed were, after Death, received into Places under the Earth.

[2] Leberh is the Name of a very poor Man.

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loft all 5'our Coft and Labour, as the Saying is. Co. Nay, I think this is fonnething better ftill than what they do, who, for the lake of little Advance-money, liil; themfelves for Soldiers in the Aroiy, which is the Nurfery of ail Impiety. Ar. But it is an Ungentleman-like thing to take delight in telling Lies. Co. Bat it IS a little more like a Gentleman than either to de- light others, or be delighted in flandering other Perfons, or la- vilhing away a Man's Time or Subftance in Gaming. Ar. Indeed I muft be of your Mind in that. Co. But then there is another Advantage. Ar. What is that ? Co. If there fhall be any Friend that I love very well, who fiiail happen to be tainted with this Phrenfy, I will advife him to ftay at home ; as your Mariners that have been caft away, advife them that are going to Sea, to freer clear of the Place where they mif- carried. Ar. I wifli you had been my Monitor in time. Co. What Man! Have you been infe(Sled with this Difeafe too.? Ar. Yes, I have been at Rome and Co77ifoJiella. Co. Good God ! how I am pleas'd that you have been as great a Fool as I ! What F alias put that into your Head } Ar. No Fal/as, but Idoria rather, efpecially when I left at Home a handiome young Wife, feveral Children, and a Family, who had noihing in the World to depend upon for a Maintenance but my daily Labour. Co. Sure it mufh be feme important Reafon that drew you away from all thefe engaging Relations. Prithee tell me what it was. Ar. I am afham'd to tell it. Co. You need not be afham'd to tell me, who, you know, have been fick of the fame Dillemper. Ar. There was a Knot of Neighbours of us drinking together, and when the Wine be- gan to work in our Noddles, one faid he had a mind to make a Vlfit to Si. Raines, and another to St. Peier; prefently there was one or two that promis'd to go with them, till at laft it was concluded upon to go all together j and I, that I might not feem a difagreeable Companion, rather than break good Company, promifed to go too. The next Queftion was, whe- ther we lliould go to Rome or Compofiella ? Upon the Debate it was determin'd that we fliould all, God willing, fet out the next Day for both Places. Co. A grave Decree, litter to be writ in Wine than engrav'd in Brals. Ar. Prefently a Bum- per was put about to our good Journey, which when every Man had taken off in his Turn, the Vote paffed into an A6t, and became inviolable. Co. A new Religion ! But did you all come fafe back ? Ar. All but three, one dy'd by the Way, and gave us in charge to give his humble Service to Peier and James:, another dy'd at Rome, who bid us remember him to his WiFe and Children ^ and the third we left at Florence dangeroufly ill, and I believe he is in Heaven before now.

Co. Was

Co. Was he fo good a Man then ? Ar. The verieft Droll in Nature. Co. Why do you think he is in Heaven then ? Ar. Becaufe he had a whole "Satchel full of large Indulgencies. Co. I underftand you, but it is a long Way to Heaven, and a very dangerous one too, as I am told, by reafon of the Hctle Thieves that infefb the middle Region of the Air. Ar. That's true, but he was well fortify'd with Bulls. Co. What Language were they written in? Ar. In Latin. Co. And will they fecure him ? Ar. Yes, unlefs he fhould happen upon fome Spirit that does not underftand 'Latin, in that Cafe he muft go back to Rome, and get a new Paflport. Co. Do they fell Bulls there to dead Men coo ? Ar. Yes, but by the way, let me advife you to have a care what you (ay, for now there are a great many Spies [i] abroad. Ar. I don't fpeak flightingly of In- dulgencies themfelves, but I laugh at the Folly of my fuddling Companion, who tho' he was the greateft Trifler that ever was born, yet chofe rather to venture the [2] whole Strefs of his Salvation upon a Skin of Parchment than upon the Amend- ment of his Life. But when fhall we have that merry Bout you fpoke of juft now ? Co. When Opportunity offers we'll let a Time for a fmall Collation, and invite fome of our Com- rades, there we will tell Lies, who can lye fafteft, and divert one another with Lies till we have our Bellies full. Ar. Come on, a Match.

The Argument.

In this Colloquy thofe Perfons are reprehended that run to and again to Rome hunting after Benefices^ and that oftentimes with the Hazard of the Corruption of their Morals^ and the Lofs of their Money. The Clergy are admonifloed to divert themfelves with read' ing of good Books ^ r^-J her than with a Concubine. Jocular Dlfcourfe concerning a long Nofe.

[1] The Coricai were the Inhabitants of Mount Corkus, who ufed to make it their Bufmefs to enquire which way Merchants were to fail, and then to give notice of it to Pyrates, to rob them.

[2] Proram ac Puppln, the wliolc^ becaufe the whole of the Ship depends on the Head and ?he Stern.

P 4 M^

PAMPHAGUS, [i] COCLES.

PA M. Either -my Sight fails me, or this is my old Pot- Companion Codes. Co. No, no, your Eyes don't deceive you at all, you Tee a Companion that is yours heartily. Pa. Nobody ever thought to have feen you again, you have been gone fo many Years, and Nobody knew what was become of you. But whence come you from ? Prithee tell me. Co. From the Antipodes. Pa. Nay, but I believe you are come from the [2] fortunate Iflands. Co. I am glad you know your old Companion, I was afraid I fhould come home as Uijjps did. Pa. Why pray? After what manner did he come home? Co. His own Wife did not know him ; only his Dog, being grown very old, acknowledg'd his M after, by wagging his Tail. Pa. How many Years was he from Home? Co. Twenty. Pa. You have been abfent more than Twenty Years, and yet I knew your Face again. But who tells that Story of Uiyfes ? Co. Homer. Pa. He ? They fay he's the Father of all fabulous Stories. It may be his Wife had gotten herfelf a Gallant in the mean time, and therefore did not know her own Ulyjfes. Co. No, nothing of that, fhe was one of the chafteft Women in the World. But Pallas had made Vlyffes look old, that he might not be known. Pa. How came he to be known at laft ? Co. By a little Wart that he had upon one of his Toes. His Nurfe, who was now a very old Woman, took notice of that as ^i\Q was wafliing his Feet. Pa. A curious old Hagg. Well then, do you admire that I know you that have fo remarka- ble a Nofe ? Co. I am not at all forry for this Nofe. Pa. No, nor have you any occafion to be forry for having a thing that is fit for fo many Ufes. Co. For what Ufes ? Pa. Firft of all, it will ferve inftead of an ExtinguiOier, to put out Candles. Co. Go on. Pa. Again, if you want to draw any thing out of a deep Pit, it will ferve inftead of an Elephant's Trunk. Co. O wonderful. Pa. If your Hands be employ'd it will ferve inftead of a Pin. Co. Is it good for any thing elfe ? Pa. If you have no Bellows it will iferve to blow the Fire. Co. This is very pretty j have you any more of it ? Pa. If the Light oflPends you when you are writing, it will ferve for an Um- brella. Co. Ha, ha, ha ! Have you any thing more to fay ? Pa. In a Sea-fight it will ferve for a Grappling-hook. Co. What will it ferve for in a Land-fight ? Pa. Inftead of a

I'l] Pamphagus of vavrs, all 5 and pij-s/V, to eat; eating up all. [2] The Canary Iflands.

Shield.

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Shield. Co. And what elfe ? Ta. It will ferve for a Wedge to cleave Wood withal Co. Well faid. Ta. If you ad: the Part of a Herald, it will be for a Trumpet; if you found an Alarm^ a Horn; if you dig, a Spade; if you reap, a Sickle, if you go to Sea,.an Anchor ; in the Kitchen it will ferve for a Flefti- hook; and in filliing a Fifh-hook. Co. I am a happy F-dlow indeed, I did not know I carry'd about m.e a Piece of Hou- fhold-ftufr that would ferve for fo many Ufes. But in the mean time, in what Corner of the Earth have you hid your felf all this while ? Fa.lr\V.ome. Co. But is it poffible that in fo publick a Place no Body fhould know you were alive? Ta. Good Men txc no where in the World lo much inccg7:iio as there, fo that in the brightcft Day you lliall fcarce fee one in a throng'd Market. Co. Well, but then you're com.e home load en with Benefices. Fa. Indeed I hunted after them dili- gently, but I had no Succefs ; for the way of filling there is according to the Proverb, with a golden Hook. Co. That's a foolifh vny of fifhing. Fa. No matter for that, feme Folks find it a very good way. Co. Are they not the greateft Fools in Nature that change Gold for Lead? Fa. But don't you know that there are Veins of Geld in holy Lead ? Co. What then are you com.e back nothing but a Pamphagus ? Pa. No. Co. What then pray ? Fa. A ravenous Wolf Co. But they make a better Voyage of it, that return laden with Budgets full of Benefices. Why, had you rather have a Benefice than a Wife ? Fa. Becaufe I love to live at eafe. I love to live a pleafant Lite. Co. But in my Opinion they live the m.cll pleafant Life that have at hom.e a pretty Girl, that they may embrace as often as they have a mind to it. Pa. And you may add this to it, fometimes when they have no mind to it, I. love a continual Pleafure; he that manies a Wife is happy for a Month, but he that gets a fat Benefice lives merrily all his Life. Co. But Solitude is fo melancholy a Life, that^^^w in Paradife could not have liv'd happily unlels God had given him an Eve. Fa. He'll ne'er need to v^'ant an Evs that has gotten a good Benefice. Co. But that Pleafure can't really be call'd Pleafure that carries an ill Name and bad Cotifciencc with it. Fa. You fay true, and therefore I defign to divert the Tedioufnefs of Solitude by a Converfation with Books. Co. They are the pleafanteft Companions in the World. But do you intend to return to your Fifhing again? P^. Yes, I would, if I could get a frefh Bait. Co. Would you have a goldea one or a Silver one ? Pa. Either of them. Co. Be of good Cheer, your Father will fupply you. Pa. He'll part with no- thing; and efpecially he'll not truft m.e again, when he com.es to underfxand I have fpent what I had to no purpofe. Co.

That's

[a8 ]

That's the Chance of the Dice. Pa. But he don't like thofe Dice. Co. If he iliall abfolutely deny you, I'll fliew you where you may have as much as you pleafe. Fa. You tell me good News indeed, conT;e ihew it me, my Heart leaps for Joy. Co. It is here hard by. Pa. Why, have you gotten a Treafure ? Co. If I had, I would have it for my felf, not for you. Pa. If I could but get together loo Ducats I Ihould be in hopes again. Co. I'll lliew you wheie^ou may have looooo. Pa. Prithee put me out of my Pain then, and do not teaze me to death. Tell me where I may have it. Co. From the .^Jp Buda^i, there you may find a great many Ten Thoufands, whether you'd have it Gold or Silver. Pa. Go and be hang'd with your Banter, I'll pay you what I owe you out of that Bank. Co. Ay, fo you fhall, but it fhall be what I lend you out of it. Pa. I know your waggidi Tricks well enough. Ca. I'm not to be compar'd to you for that. Pa. Nay, you are the verieft Wag in Nature, you are nothing but Waggery; you make a Jeft of a ferious Mattery in this Affair it is a far eafier matter to teaze me than it is to pleafe me ; the Matter is of too great a Confequence to be made a Jeft on j if you were in my Cafe you would not be (o gamefome j you make a mere Game of me j you game and banter me i you joke upon me in a thing that is not a joking Matter. Co. I don'c jeer you, I fpeak what I think; indeed I do not laugh, Ifpeak my Mind ; I fpeak ferioufly, I fpeak from my Heart j I {peak fincerely, I fpeak the Truth. Pa. So may your Cap (land always upon your Head, as you fpeak fmcerely. But do I ftand loitering here, and make no hafte home to fte how all Things go there? Co. You'll find a great many Things new. Pa. I believe I fhall ; but I wifh I may find all Things as I would have them. Co. We may all wifh fo if we will, but never any Body found it fo yet. Pa. Our Rambles will do us both this Good, that we fhall Uke Home the better for Time tc come. Co. I can't tell that, for I have feen fome that have play'd the fame Game over and over again ^ if once this Infedion feizes a Perfon he feldom gets rid of it.

The

[ ^p ]

The Argument.

T'he wicked Life of Soldiers is here reprehended^ and fjewn to be 'very miferable : 'That PVar is Csnfufon^ and a Sink of all manner of Vices^ in as much as in it there is no Dijlintiion made betivixt Things facred and ■profane. The hope of Plunder allures many to become Soldiers. The Impieties of a Military Life are here laid open^ by this Confejjion of a Soldier^ that Touth may be put out of conceit of going into the Army.

HANNO, [i] THRASYMACHUS.

TLTANNO. How comes it about that you that went away •*■■'■ 2. Mi'Ymry, come back a Vulcan ? Thr. What do you talk to me of your Mercuries and your Vulcam for ? Ha. Be- caufe you feem'd to be ready to fly when you went away, but you're come limping home. Thr. I'm come back like a Sol- dier then. B.a. You a Soldier, that would out-run a Stag if an Enemy were at your Heels- Thr. The hope of Booty made me valiant. Ha. Well, have you brought home a good deal of Plunder then ? Thr. Empty Pockets. Ha. T hen you were the lighter for travelling. Thr. But I was heavy loaden with Sin. Ua. That's heavy Luggage indeed, if the Apoftle fays right, who calls Sin Lead. Thr. I have feen and had a hand in more ViUanies this Campaign than in the whole Courfe of my Life before. Ha. How do you like a Soldier's Life ? Thr. There is no Courfe of Life in the World more wicked or more wretched. Ha. What then muft be in the Minds of thofe People, that for the fake of a litde Money, and feme out of Curiolity, make as much hafte to a Battel as to a Ban- quet? Thr. In truth, I can think no other but they are pof. fefs'd \ for if the Devil were not in them they would never anticipate their Fate. Ha. So one would think, for if you'd put them upon any honeft Bafinefs, they'll fcarce ftit a Foot in it for any Money. Ha. But tell me, how went the Battel ? Who got thfe better on't ? Thr. There was fuch a hallooing, hurly-burly, Noife of Guns, Trumpets and Drums, Neighing

{i] thrajymachus, of fl^WiJ?, boldj and nt*.-)(j>[/.aj, to fight j f. d, bold in Fight,

of

[30]

of HorfeS:, and Shouting of Men, that I was fb far from know- ing what others were a doint^, that I fcarcely knew where I was myfelf. Ha. How comes it about then that others, after a Fight is over, do paint you out every Circumftance fo to the Life, and tell you what fuch an Officer faid, and what t'other did, as tho' they had been nothing but Lookers on all the time, and had been every v/here at the fame time ? Thr. It is my Opinion that they lye confoundedly. I can tell you what was done in my own Tent, but as to what was done in the Battel, I know nothing at all of that. Ha. Don't you know how you came to be lame neither ? Tbr. Scarce that upon my Honour, but I fuppofe my Knee was hurt by a Stone, or a Horfe-heel, or fo. Ha. Well, but I can tell you. Thr. You tell me ? Why, has any Body told you ? Ha. No. but I guefs. Thr. Tell me then. Ha. When you were running away in a Fright, you fell down and hit it againft a Stone. Tbr. Let me die if you han't hit the Nail on the head, [i] Ha. Go, get you home, and tell your Wife of your Exploits, Thr. She'll read me a Juniper-Ledure for coming home in fuch a Pickle. Ha. But what Reftitution will you make for what you have ftolen ? Thr. That's made already. Ha. To whom ? Thr. Why, to Whores, Sutlers, and Gamefters. Ha. That's like a Soldier for all the World, it's but juft that what's got over the Devil's Back lliould be fpent under his Belly. Ha. But I hope you have kept your Fingers all this while from Sacrilege ? Thr. There's nothing facred in Hoftility, there we neither fpare private Houfes nor Churches. H^z.Kow will you make Satisfaction ? Thr. They fay there is no Satisfadion to be made for what is done in War, for all Things are lawful there. Ha. You mean by the Lav/ of Arms, I fuppofe ? Thr. You are right. Ha. But that Law is the higheft Injuftice. It was not the Love of your Country, but the Love of Booty that made you a Soldier. Thr. I confefs fo, and I believe very few go into the Army with any better Defign. Ha. It is in- deed fome Excufe to be mad with the greater Part of Man- kind. Thr. I have heard a Parfon fay in his Pulpit that War was lawful. Ha. Pulpits indeed are the Oracles of Truth. But War may be lawful for a Prince, and yet not fo for you. Thr. I have heard that every Man muft live by his Trade. Ha. A very honourable Trade indeed to burn Houfes, rob Churches, ravilh Nuns, plunder the Poor, and murder the

[i] A Proverb taken from a Play ufed by Boys, in which he that was the Gueffer was to touch the Thing the other thought upon with a Needle or Rod,

Innocent!

[ 31 ]

Innocent! T^r. Batchers are hired to kill Beafts; and why is our Trade found fault with who are hired to kill Men ? Ha. But was you never thoughtful what ftiould become of your Soul if you happen'd to be kill'd in the Battel ? Thr. Not very muqh, I was very well fatisfied in my Mind, having once for all commended myfelf to St. Bd^rWtf. Ha. And did fhe take you under her Protedion ? Thr. I fancied foj for methoughc (he gave me a little Nod. Ha. What time was it.? In the Morning? Thr. No, no, 'twas after Supper. Ha. And by that time I fuppofe the Trees feem'd to walk too ? Thr. How this Man gueffes every thing ! But St. Chrifiopher was the Saint I moft depended on, whofe Pi6ture I had always in my Eye. Ha. What in your Tent ? Thr. We had drawn him with Char- coal upon our Sail-cloth. Thr. Then to be fure that Chrifio- pher the Collier was a fare Card to truft to. But without jell- ing, I don't fee- how you can expedt to be forgiven all thefe ■ Villanies, unlefs you go to Rome. Thr. Yes I can, I know a Ihorter way than that. Ha. What way is that ? Thr. I'll go to the Dominicans, and there I can do my Bufinefs with the CommifTaries for a Trifle. Ha. What, for Sacrilege ? Thr. Ay, if I had robb'd Chrift himfelf, and cut off his Head af- terwards, they have Pardons would reach it, and Commiffions large enough to compound for it. Ha. That is well indeed, if God fhould ratify your Compofition. Thr. Nay, I am ra- ther afraid the Devil fliould not ratify it j God is of a forgi- ving Nature. Ha. What Prieft will you get you ? Thr. One that I know has but little Modefty or Honefty. Ha. Like to like. And when that's over, you'll go ftrait away to the Communion, like a good Chriftian, will you not? Thr. Why fhould I not ? For after I have once difcharg'd the Jakes of my Sins into his Cowl, and unburden'd myfelf of my Lug- gage, let him look to it that abfolv'd me. Ha. But bow can you be fure that he does abfolve you ? Thr. I know that well enough. Ha. How do you know it ? Thr. Becaufe he lays his Hand upon my Head and m.utters over fomething, I don'c know what. Ha. What if he fhould give you all your Sins again when he lays his Hand upon your Head, and thefe (hould be the Words he mutters to himfelf? I abfolve thee from all thy good Deeds, of ivhich I find few or none in thee j I refiore thee to thy nuonted Manners, and leave thee jtifi as I found thee. Thr. Let him look to what he fays, it is enough for me that I believe I am abfolved. Ha. But you run a great Hazard by that Belief, for perhaps that will not be Satisfadion to God, to whom thou art indebted. Thr. Who a mifchief put you in my way to difturb my Confcience, which was very quiet before ? Ha. Nay, I think it is a very happy Encounter to

meet

[3^

meet a Friend that gives good Advice. Thr. I can't tell how good it IS, but I am fure it is not very pleafant.

1'he Commands of a Mafler.

The Argument.

^hls Colloquy treats of the Commands of a Mafler^ and the Bujinefs of a Servant, i . 'The Mafler calls up his fleepy Servant^ commands him to fet the Houfe to rights i the Servant anfwers again^ that he [peaks not a Word about D inner .^ 6cc, z. Of fending him o?t various Errands. 3 . Concerning Riding.

I . Of calling up the Sleeper.

RABANUS, SYRUS.

J^A. Soho, foho, Rafcah I am hoarfe a bawling to you, * *■ and you lye fnoring ftili, you'll fleep for ever I think in my Confcience j either get up prefently or I'll rouze you with a good Cudgel. When will you have flept out your Yefter- day's Debauch ? Are you not afham'd, you fleepy Sor, to lye a-bed till this time of Day ? Good Servants rife as foon as it is Day, and take care to get every thing in order before their Marter rifes. How loth this Drone is to leave his warm Nefl ! he is a whole Hour a fcratching, and ftretching, and yawn- ing, Sy. It is fcarce Day yet. R^r, I believe not to you^ it is Midnight yet to your Eyes. Sy. What do you want me to do ? Ra. Make the Fire b.urn, brufli my Cap and Cloke, clean my Shoes and Galloflioes, take my Stockings and turn them infide out, and brufh them well, firft within, and then without, burn a little Perfume to fwf eten the Air, light a Can- dle, give me a clean Shirt, air it well before a clear Fire. Sy. It fhall be done Sir, 'Ra. But make hafle then, all this ought to have been done before now. Sy. I do make hafle Sir. 3R<j!. I fee what Hafte you make, you are never the forwarder, you go a Snail's Gallop. Sy. Sir, I cannot do two things at once. Ra. You Scoundrel, do you fpeak Sentences too ? Take away the Chamber-Pot, lay the Bed^Clothes to rights,

' ' ' draw

[ n ]

draw back the Curtains, fweep the Houfe, fweep the Cham- ber-floor, fetch me fome Water to wall my Hands. What are you a (living about you Drone ? You are a Year a light- ing- a Candle. Sy. I can't find a Spark of Fire. Ka. Is it fo yo'u rak'd it up lail Nigh^ ? Sy, I have no Bellows. Ha. How the Knave thwarts me, as if he that has you can want Bellows. Sy. What an imperious Mafter have I gotten ! Ten of the nirnblefl: Fellows in the World are fcarce fufficient to perform his Orders. Ra. What's that you fay you flow- Back ? Sy- Nothmcr at all. Sir. K.t. No, Sirrah, did I not hear you mut- ter ? Sy^ I was faying my Prayers. Ra. Ay, I believe fo, but it was the Lord's-Prayer backwards then. Pray, what was that you were chattering about Imperioufnefs ? Sy. I was wifhing you might be an Emperor. Ra. And I willi you may be made a Man of a Stump of a Tree. Wait upon me to Church, and then run home and make the Bed, and put every thing in its places let the Houfe be fee to rights from top to bot- tom, rub the Cham.ber-Pot, put thefe foul Things out of fighCi. perhaps I may have fome Gentry come to pay me a Vifit j if I find any thing out of order I'll threfli you foundly. Sy. I knov/ your good Humour well enough in that Matter. Ra. Then it behoves you to look about you, if you are wife. Sy. But all this while here is not one Word about Dinner. Ra. Out you Villain, one may fee what your Mind runs on: I don't dine at home, therefore come to me a little before Tert a-CIock, that you may wait upon me where I am to go to Dinner. Sy. You have taken care of your felf, but there is not a bit of Bread for me to put into my Head. Ra. If you have nothing to eat, you have fomething to hunger after. Sy. But fafting won't fill the Belly. Ra. There is Bread for you. Sy. There is fo, but it is as black as my Hat, and as coarie as the Bran itfelf. R^. You dainty Chap'd Fellow, you, ought to be fed with Hay, if you had fuch Commons as you deferve. What, I warrant you, Mr. Afs, you muft be fed with Plumb Cakes, muft you } If you can't eat dry Bread, take a Leek to eat with it, or an Onion, if you like that better^

2.

Of fending about various Buftnefjes

Ra. You muft go to Market. Sy. What, fofar? Ra. It is iiot a Stone's Throw off, but it feems two Miles to fuch an idle Fellow as you i but however, I'll fave you as much La- bour as I can, you fhall difpateh feveral Bufineffes in one Er- tand i count 'em upon your Fingers, that you mayn't forgee

D art/

»

t 34-1

any of 'era : Firft of all ftep to the Sales-man, and bring my warer'd Camblet Doublet if it be done ; then go and enquire for Cornelius the Waggoner, he's commonly at the Sign of the JRoe-hck, he ufes that Houfe, ask him if he has any Letters for me, and what Day he fets out on his Journeys then go to; the Woollen Draper, and tell him from me, not to be uneary> , that I have not fent him the Money at the Time appointed,:, for he fhall have it in a very jiale Time. Sj. When? Toi morrow come never? Ea. Do you grin you Pimp? Yes, before the firft of Alarch : And as you come back, turn on the Left-hand, and go to the Bookfeller, and enquire of him,, if there be any new Books come out of Germany, learn what they are, and the Price of them ; then defire Goclenius. to do me the honour to come to Supper with me, tell him I rauft fup by my felf if he don't. Sy. What do you invite Guefts too ? You han't Vidtuals enough in the Houfe to give a Moule i a Meal. Ra. And when you have done all thefe, go to the : Market, and buy a Shoulder of Mutton, and get it nicely roafted: Do you hear this? Sy. I hear more than I like to hear. Ra. But take you care you remember 'em all. Sy. I fhall fcarce be able to remember half of 'em. Ra. What do you ftand loytering here, you idle Knave? You might have! been back before now. Sy. What one Perfon in the World I can do all thefe ? Truly I muft wait upon him out, and attend | upon him home; Fm his Swabber, his Chamberlain, his Footman, his Clerk, his Butler, his Book-keeper, his Brawl, his Errand-boy, and laft of all he does not think I have Bufi- nefs enough upon my Hands, unlefs I am his Cook too.

3. Concerning Riding.

^a. Bring me my Boots, I am to ride out. Sy. Here they are. Sir. Ra. You have look'd after them bravely, they arc all over mouldy with lying by ; I believe they han't been clean'd nor greafed this twelve Months Day; they are fo dry, they chap again j wipe them with a wet Cloth, and li- quor them well before the Fire, and chafe them till they grow foft. Sy. It fhall be doqe. Sir. Ra. Where are my Spurs? , 5/. Here they are. Rd. Ay, here they are indeed, but all i eaten up with Ruft. 2?«. Where is my Bridle and Saddle? Sy. They are juft by. 2?^. See that nothing is wanting or broken, or ready to break, that nothing may be a Hinderance to us, when we are upon our Journey. Run to the Sadlers, and get him to mend that Rein ; When you come back, look

upon

C 35 ]

upon the Horfes Feet, and Shoes, and fee if there be any Nails wanting, or loofe. How lean and rough thefeHorfesare! How often do you rub 'em down, or kemb them in a Year ? Sy. I'm fure I do it every Day. Ra. That may be feen, I belieye they have not had a bit of Viduals for three Days togethtt^^ Sy. Indeed they have. Sir. Ra. You fay fo, but the Horfef^^ould tell me another Tale, if they could but fpeak: Thoui|j iricleed their Leannefs fpeaks loud enough. Sy. Indeed I ta%.all the Care in the World of 'em. Ra. How comes it about tTvbn, that they don't look as well as you do ? Sy. Becaufe I don't eat Hay. Ra. You have this to do ftill ; make ready my Portmanteau quickly. Sy. It fhall be done.

Tfie Argument.

^he School-majler's Infiru^ions teach a Boy Modefly^ Civility^ and Manners becoming his Age^ in what Pofiure he ought to Jland while he talks to his Supe~ riors j concerning Habit ^ Difcoiirfe^ and Behaviour at "Table and in School.

The Schoohmajler and Boy,

VCH. You feem not to have been bred at Court, but in 3 *-^ Cow-ftall j you behave yourfelf fo clowniihiy. A Gen- tleman ought to behave himfelf like a Gentleman. As cf:en or whenever any one that is your Superior fpeaks to you. Hand ftrait, pull off your Hat, and look neither doggedly, furlily, faucily, malaperdy nor unfettledly, but with a ft.ud, modeft, pleafant Air in your Countenance, and a baihful Look fix'd upon the Perfon who fpeaks to you; your Feet fet clofe one by t'other; your Hands without Ailion: Don'c fland titter, totter, firft ftanding upon Foot, and tlien upon another, nor playing with your Fingers, biting your Lip, fcratching your Head, or picking your Ears : Let your Cloaths be put on tight and neat, that your whole Drefs, Air, Mo- tion and Habit, may befpeak a modefl: and bafliful Temper. Bo. What if I (hall try, Sir? Ma. Do fo. Bo. Is this right? Ma. Not quite. Bo. Muft J do fo ? Ma. That's pretty well. Bo. Muft 1 ftand fo? Ma. Ay, that's very well, remember that Pofture; don't be a prittle prattle, nor prate apace, nor be a minding any thing but what is faid to you. If you are to make an Anfwer, do it in few Words, and to the Purpofe, every now and then prefacing with fome Title of Reiped,

D 2 and

[3«]

and fometimes ufe a Title of Honour, and now and then make a Bow, efpecially when you have done fpeaking: Nor do you go away without asking Leave, or being bid to go : Now come let me fee how you can pradtife this. How long have you been from Home ? Bo. Almoft fix Months. Ma. You fliould have faid. Sir. Bo. Almoft fix Months, Sir. Ma. Don't you long to fee your Mother? Bo. Yes, fome- times. Ma. Have you a Mind to go to fee her ? Bo. Yes, with your Leave, Sir. Ma. Now you fhould have made a Bow J that's very well, remember to do fo ; when you fpeak, don't fpeak faft, ftammer, or fpeak in your Throat, but ufe your felf to pronounce your Words diftindlly and clearly. If you pafs by any ancient Perfon, a Magiftrate, a Minifter, or Dodtor, or any Perfon of Figure, be fure to pull off your Hat, and make your Reverence : Do the fame when you pafs by any facred Place, or the Image of the Crofs. When you are at a Feaft, behave your felf chearfully, but always fo as to remember what becomes your Age : Serve your felf laft ;

_ and if any nice Bit be ofFer'd you, refufe it modeftly :, but if they prefs it upon you, take it, and thank the Perfon, and cutting off a Bit of it, offer the reft either to him that gave it you, or to him that fits next to you. If any Body drinks to you merrily, thank him, and drink moderately. If you don't care to drink, however, kifs the Cup, Look pleafantly upon him that fpeaks to you , and be fure not to fpeak till you are fpoken to. If any Thing that is obfcene be faid, don't laugh at it, but keep your Countenance, as though you did not underftand it j don't rcfled on any Body, nor take' place of any Body, nor boaft of any Thing of your own, nor un- dervalue any Thing of another Bodies. Be courteous to your Companions that are your inferiors j traduce no Body ; don't be a Blab with your Tongue, and by this Means you'll get a good Character, and gain Friends without Envy. If the En- tertainment fhall be long, defire to be excus'd, bid much good may it do the Guefts, and withdraw from Table : See that you remember thefe Things. Bo. Ill do my Endeavour, Sir. Is there any Thing elfe you'd have me do .^ Ma. Now go to

, your Books. Bo. Yes, Sir.

The Argument.

ft/je Boys fending Codes their Meffenger to their Majier^ get league to go to Play, 'vohojhsws that moderate Re- creations

[ if ]

creations are 'very necejfary both for Mind and Body, ^he Majier admonijloes them that they keep together at Play ^^c. \. Of playing at Stool-hall: Of chufing Partners. 2. Of playing at Bowls .^ the Orders of the Bowling-Green. 3. Of playing at flriking a Ball thro' an Iron Ring. 4. Of Dancing.^ that they JJjould not dance prefently after Dinner : Of playing at Leap- frog: Of Running: Of Swimming.

Nicholas, Jerome, Cocles, the Master.

AT I C. I have had a great mind a good while, and this •^ ' fine Weather is a great Invitation to go to play. W. Thefe indeed invite you, but the Mafter don't. Nic. We muft get feme Spokefman chat may extort a Holiday from him. Hi. You did very well to fay extort, for you m.ay fooner wreft Herculei's Club out of his Hands than get a Play-day from him i but Time was when Nobody lov'd Play better than he did. Nic. That is true, but he has forgot a great while ago fince he was a Bpy himfelf j he is as ready and free at whipping as any Body, but as fparing and backward at this as any Body in the World. Hi. We muil pick out a Meffen- ger that is not very bafliful, that won't be prefently dafh'd out of Countenance by his furly Words. Nic. Let who will g6 for me, I had rather go without Play than ask him for it. Hi. There is Nobody fitter for this Bufinefs than Codes. Ni. Nobody in the World, he has a good bold Face of his own, and Tongue enough j and befides, he knows his Humour too. Hi. Go, Codes, you will highly oblige us all. Coc. Well, I'll try ; but if I do not fucceed, do not lay the Fault on your Spokefman. Hi. You promife well for it, I am out in my Opinion if you don't get Leave. Go on Intreater, and return an Obtainer. Coc. I'll go, may Mercury [i] fend me good Luck of my Errand. God fave you. Sir, Ma. What does- this idle Pack want ? Coc. Your Servant, Reverend Mafter. Ma. This is a treacherous Civility ! I am well enough alrea- dy. Tell me what 'tis you came for. Coc. Your whole School beg a Play-day, Ma. You do nothing elfe but play, even without Leave. Coc. Your Wifdom knows that moderate Play quickens the Wit, as you have taught us out of ^in- tilian. Ma. Very well, how well you can remember what's

[i] Mercury is not only faid to be the Meffenger of the Gods, but alfo jhe God of Eloquence.

D 3 to

5^

to your Parpofe? They that labour hard, had need of feme Relaxation : But you that ftudy idly, and play labori- ouflv; had n:iore need of a Curb, than a Snaffle. Coc. If any Thing has been wanting in Times part, we'll labour to make it up by future Diligence. Ma. O rare Makers up ! who will be Sureties for the performing this promife? Coc. I'll venture my Head upon it. Ma. Nay, rather venture your Tail. I know there is but little Dependance upon your Wordj but however, I'll try this time what Credit may.be given to you; if you deceive me now, you fliall never obtain any Thing from me again. Let *em play; but let them keep together in the Field, don't let them go a tippling or worfe Exercifes, and fee they come Home betimes, before Sun fet. Coc. We will. Sir.

I have gotten leave, but with much a do. Jer. O brave Lad 1 we all love you dearly. Coc. But v/e mull be fure not to tranfgrefs our Orders, for if we do, it will be all laid upon imy Back ; I have engaged for ye all, and if ye do, PU never be your Spokes-man again. Jer. We'll take care; But what play do you like befl.? Coc. We'll talk of that when we come into the Fields.

I . Of playing at Ball. NICHOLAS and JEROME.

'- Nic. No Play is better to exercife all Parts of the Body than Stool-ball ; but that's fitter for Winter than Summer. Jer, Th^re is no time of the Year with us, but what's fit to play in. ^ Nic. We fhall fweat lefs, if we play at Tennis. Jer. Let's let Nets alone to Fifhermen ; it's prettier to catch it in our Hands. Nic. Well, come on, I don't much Matter; but how much fliall we play for? Jer. For a Fill-up, and then we flian't lofe much Money. Nic. But I had rather fpare my Corps than my Money. Jer. And I value my Corps more than my Money : We mufl play for fomething, or we fhall never play our beft. Nic. You fay true. Jer. Which Hand foever fliall get the firfl three Games, fliall pay the fixth Part of a Groat to the other ; but upon Condition that what's won fliall be fpent among all the Company alike. Well, I like the Propofal; come done, let's chufe Hands; but we are all (o equally match'd, that it's no great Matter who and who's to- gether. Jer. You play a great deal better than I. Nic. But for all that, you have the better Luck. Jer. Has Fortune any thing to do at this Play ? Nic. She has to do every where. '

^ ^ Jer.

L 39 1 •

^er. Well, come let's tofs up. O Boys, very well indeed, I have got the Partners I would have. Nic. And we like our Partners very well. ^er. Conie on, now for't, he that will win, muft look to his Game, Let every one Hand ro his Place bravely. Do you fland behind me ready to catch the Ball, if it goes beyond me^ do you mind there, and beat it back when it comes from our Adverfaries. Nic. I'll warrant ye, I'll hit it if it comes near me. Jer. Go on and profper, throw up the Ball upon the Houfe. He that throws and do's not fpeak firft, fhall lofe his Caft. Nic. Well, ,take it then. ^er. Do you tofs itj if you throw it beyond the Bounds, or fhort, or over the Houfe, it fiiall go for nothing, and we won't be cheated: And truly you throw naftily. jer. As you tofs it, I'll give it you again j I'll give you a Ro^jjlaiid for an Oliver:^ but it is better to play fairly and honeftly. Nic. It is beft at Diverfion, to beat by fair play. Jer. It is fo, and in War too; thefe Arts have each their refpedtive Laws : There are fome Arts that are very unfair ones. Nic. I believe fo too, and more than feven too. Mark the Bounds with a Shell, or Brick-bat, or with your Hat, if you will. Jer. I'd rather do it with yours. Nic- Take the Ball again. Jer. Throv/ ir j fcore it up, Nic. We have two good wide Goals. Jer. Pretty wide, but they are not out of reach. Nic. They may be reach'd if no Body hinders it. Jer. O brave, I have gone beyond the firft Goal. We are fifteen'. Play ftoutly, we had got this too, if you had flood in your Place. Well, now we are equal. Nic But you fhan't be fo long. Well, we are thirty -., vjq are forty five. Jer. What Sefterces. Nic. No. Jer. What then } Nic Numbers, y^r* What fignifies Numbers, if you have nothing to pay. Nic VVes^ have gotten this Game. Jer. You are a Htde too hafty; j/oa- reckon jour Chickens before they are hatched. I have feen thofe lofe the Game that have had fo many for Love. War and Piay is a meer Lottery. We have got thirty, now we are equal again. Nic. This is the Game Stroke. O brave ! we have got the better of you. .Jer. Well, but you fhan't have it long; did I not fay fo? We are equally fortunate^ Fortune inclines firft to one fide, and then to t'other, as if (he could not tell which to give the Vi£tory to. Nic. Fortune, be but on our Side, and we'll help thee to a Husband. O rare ! She has anfwer'd our Defire, we have got this Gam.e, fet it up, that we may'nt forget. Jer. It is almoft Night, and we have play'd enough, we had better leave off, too much of one thing is good for nothing, let us reckon cur Winnings. Nic. We have won three Groats, and you have won two J then there is one to be fpent. Jer. But who muft;

D 4 pay

[40 ]

pay for the Balls? Nk. All alike, every one his part. For there is lb Ikde won:, we can't take any Thing from that.

1. Bowl PIayh?g. JDOLPHUS, BERNJRDUS, the Arbitrators.

ylclol. You have been often bragging what a mighty Game- fter you were ac Bowls. Come now, I have a Mind to try what a one you are. Ber. I'll anfwer you, if you have a mind to that Sport. Now you'll find according to the Pro- verb ; Tou have met wiih jour Match. Adol Well, and you fliall find I am a Match for you too. Ber. Shall we play fin.^le Hands or double Hands? Adol. I had rather play An- gle, that another may not come in with me for a Share of the Vidory. Ber And I had rather have it fo too, that the Vi- dory may be entiiely my own. Adol. They fliall look on, and be Judges. Ber. I take you up j But what fhall he that beais get, or he that is beaten lofe. Ber. What if he that bears Aall have a Piece of his Ear cut ofF. Nay, rather let pno. of his Stones be cur out. It is a mean thing to play for Moneys you are a German, and I a Frenchman, we'll both play for the Honour of his Country: If Ifliall beat you, you fliall cry out thrice, let France flourifli • If I fliall be beat fwh'ch- I hope I flian't) I'll in the fame Words cele- h\-2XQyoi\r Germany. Adol. Well, a Match. Ber. Now for good, Luck, fince two great Nations are at Stake in this Game, let the Bowls be boch alike. Adol. Do you fee that Stone that lies by the Port there. Ber. Yes I do. Adol. That .fliall be the Jack. Ber. Very well, let it be fo ; but I fay let the Bowls be alike. Adol. They are as like as two Peas. Take v/hich you pleafe, it's all one to me. Ber. Bowl away. Adol Hey-day, you whirl your Bowl as if your Arm . was a Sling. Ber. You have bit your Lip, and whirled your Bowl loiig enough : Come bowl away. A ftrong Bowl in- deed, but I am beff, Adol. If ir had not been ibr that mif- chievous bit of a Brick-bat there, rhat lay in my Way, I had beat you ofE Ber. Stand fair. Adol. I won't cheat : i intend to beat you by Art, and net to cheat j^e, fince we contend for the PriT-e of Honour; p^ub, rub: A great Caft in troth. Adol. Nay, don't laugh' before you've won. Ber. We are equal yet. Ber. This is who fliall : He that firft hits the Jack 3S up. Adol. I have beat you, fing. Ber. Stay, you Ouiuld have faid how many you'd make up, for my Hand is not

come

[4>] -

come in yet. Adol. Judgment, Gentlemen^ Arhitr. 3. Bcr. Very well. Adol Well, what do you fay now.? Are you beat or no ? Ber. You have had better Luck than L bur yet I won't vail to you, as to Strength and Art • I'll ftand to what the Company fays. Arb. The German has beat, and the Victory is the more glorious, that he has beat fo good a Gamefter. Adol. Now Cock crow. Ber. I am hoarCe. AdoL That's no new thing to Cocks; but if you can't crow like an old Cock, crow like a Cockeril. Ber. Let Germany flou- riili thrice. Adol. You ought to have fiid fo thrice. Ber. \ am a-dry; let us drink fomewhere, I'll make an end of the Song there. Adol. I won't ftand upon chat, if the Company likes it. Arb. That will be the beft, the Cock will crow clearer when his Throat is gargled.

3 . The Play of ftriking a Ball throng an Iron Ring. GASPER, ERASMUS.

Gap. Come, let's begin, Marcolphus fliall come in, in the Lofers Place. £r. But what Hiall Vv/e play for } GaJ. He that is beat, fhall make and repeat Extempore, a Difticb, in praife of him that beat him. 'Er. With all my Heart. Gaf. Shall we tofs up who fhall go firft } Er. Do you go firft if you will, I had rather go laft. Gaf. You have the better of me, becaufe you know the Ground. Er. You're upon your own Ground- Gaf. Indeed I am better acquainted with the Ground, than I am with my Books; but that's but a fmall Commen- dation. Er. You that are fo good a Gamefter ought to give me odds. Gaf. Nay, you fiiould rather give me odds; but there's no great Honour in getting a Vidory, when odds is taken : He only can properly be faid to get the Game, that gets it by his own Art; we are as well match'd as can be; yours is a better Ball than mine. Er. Play fair, without cheat- ing and cozening. Gaf You fliall fay you have had to do with a fair Gamefter. Er. But I would firft know the Or- ders of the Bowling-alley. Gaf We make 4 up; whoever bowls beyond this Line it goes for nothing ; if you can go beyond thofe other Bounds, do in fairly and welcome: Whoever hits a Bowl out of his Place lofes his Caft. Er. I underftand thefe things. Gaf I have fhut you our, Er. But I'll give you a Remove. Gaf. If you do that I'll give you the Game. Er. Will you upon your Word.? Gaf. Ye?, upon my Word: You have no other Way for it, but to

bank

Lr-I

bank your Bowl fo as to make it rebound on mine. Er. Ill try : Well, what fay you now Friend ? Are not you beaten away ? fHave I not flruck you away ?) Gaf I am, I confefs it j I wiiTi you were but as wife as you are lucky ; you can fcarce do fo once in a hundred times. Er. I'll lay you, if you will, that I do it once in three times. But come pay me what I have won. Gaf. What's that ? Er. Why, a Diftich. Gaf. Well, I'll pay it now. Er. And an extempore one too. Why do you bice your Nails ? Gaf. I have it. Er. Recite it out. Gaf. As loud as you will.

Toufig Standers-hyt clap ye the Conqueror hfave» IVloo me has heat, is the more learned Knave.

Han't you a Diftich now ? Er. I have, and I'll give you as good as you bring.

4. Leaping.

FINCENT, LAURENCE.

Vi. Have you a mind to jump with me .? Eau. That Play is not good prefencly aFrer Dinner. Vi. Why fo ? Eau. Be- caufe that a Fulriefs of Belly makes the Body heavy. Vi. Not very much to thofe that live upon Scholars Commons, for thefe oftentimes are ready for a Supper before they have done Dinner. Eau. What fort of Leaping is it that you like bell ? Vi. Let us firfb begin with that which is the plaineft, as that of Grafshoppers ; or Leap-frog, if you Uke that better, both Feet at once, and clofe to one another j and when we have play'd enough at this, then we'll try other Sorts. Eau. I'll play at any fort, where there is no danger of breaking ones Legs j I have no mind to make Work for the Surgeon. VL What if we (liould play at hopping ? Eau. That the Ghofts [i] play, I am not for that. Vi. It's the clevereft way to leap with a Pole. Eau. Running is a more noble Exeicife; for JEneas in Virgil prcpofcd this Exercife. V'l. Very true, and he alfo propos'd the fighting with Whirly-bats too, and I don't like that Sport. Eau. Mark the Courfe,let this be the Starting- place, and yonder Oak the Goal. Vi. I wifli Mncas was here, that he might propofe what lliouM be the Conqueror's Priz.e. JLdta.Glory is a Reward fufficient for Vidlory. Vt. You fhould rather give a

£ij Empuja in Ariftophancs is a Ghoft that appears witji one Leg,

Reward

[ 43 ]

Reward to him that is beat, to comfort him^ Lau. Then let the Viftor's Reward be to go into the Town crowned with a Bur. Vi. VVelL 'tis done, provided you'll go before playing upon a Pipe. Lau. It is very hot. Vi. That is not ftranga when it is Midfummer. 'Lau. Swimming is better. Vi. I don't love to Hve like a Frog, I am a Land Animal, not an amphibious one. Lau, But in old Time this was look'd upon to be one of the raoft noble Ek'ercifes. Vi. Nay, and a very ufefui one too. Vi. For what ? Vi. If Men are forc'd to fly in Battel, they are in the beft Condition that can run and fwim befl. Lau. The Art you fpeak of is not to be ki light by j it is as Praife-vi'orthy Ibmetimes to run away nimbly as it is to fight ftoutly. Vi. I can't fwim at all, and it is dangerous to converfe with an unaccuftomed Element. Lau. You ought to learn then, for no Body was born an Artift. Vi. But I have heard of a great many of thefe Artifts that have fwum in, but never fwam out again. Lau. Firfi; try wich Corks. Vi. I can't trufl more to a Cork than to my Feetj if you have a mind to fwim, I had rather be a Spectator than an Ador.

The Argument.

^'bis Difcourfc furnijloes a chiUiJlo Mind 'with pious In- firu^ions of Religion., in what it confijls. What is to be done in the Morning in Bed., at getth:g up^ at Home^ at School., before Meat^ after Meat., before going to Sleepy of beginning the Day., of praying., of behaving themfehes fiudioiifly at School., 'ithriftinefs of I'ime : j^ge flies. What is to be done after Supper. Mow we ought to fleep. Of Behaviour at holy TVorflnp. Jll things to be applied to ourfelves. The Meditation of a pious Soul at Church. JVhat Preachers are chiefly to be heard. Fafling is prejudicial to Children. Con- feflion is to be made to Chrift. The Society of wicked Perfons is to be avoided. Of the prudent chuflng a> Way of Living. Holy Orders and Matrimony are not to be entred into before the Age of Twenty-two. What

. Poets are ft to he read., and ho'^"'

:EnASMvs,

[44]

"ERASMUS, GJSPER.

Tpn AS MUS. Whence came you from? Out of fome ^ Alehoufe? Ga. No, indeed. Er. What from a Bowl- ing Green ? Ga. No, nor from thence neither. Er. What from the Tavern then ? Ga. No. Er. Well fince I can't guefs, tell me. Ga. From St. Marys Church. Er. What Bufineis had you there .? Ga. I faluted fome Perfons. Er. Who } Ga. Chrift, and fome of the Saints. Er. You have more Reli- gion than is common to one of your Age. Ga. Religion is becoming to every Age. Er. If I had a Mind to be religious, I'd become a Monk. Ga. And fo would I too, if a Monk's Hood carried in it as much Piety as it does Warmth. Er. There is an old Saying, a young Saint and an old Devil. Ga. But I believe that old Saying came from old Satan : I can hardly think an old Man to be truly religious, that has not been fo in his young Days. Nothing is learn'd to greater Advantage, than what we learn in our youngeft Years. Er. What is that which is call'd Religion? Ga. It is the pure Worfhip of God, and Obfervation of his Commandments. Er. What are they? Ga. It is too long to relate all; but ni tell you in fhort, it confifts in four Things. Er. What are they ? Ga. In the firft Place, that we have a true and pi- ous Apprehenfion of God bimfelf, and the Holy Scriptures ; and that we not only (land in Awe of him as a Lord, but that we love him with all our Heart, as a moft beneficent Father. 2. That we take the greateft Care to keep ourfelves blamelefsj that is, that we do no Injury to any one. 3. That we exercife Charity, i. e. to deferve well of all Perfons (as much as in us lyes). 4. That we pradtife Patience, i. e. to bear patiently Injuries that are offered us, when we can't pre- vent them, not revenging them, nor requiting Evil for Evil. Er. You hold forth finely j but do you pradife what you teach? Ga. I endeavour it manfully. Er. How can you do it like a Man, when you are but a Boy ? Ga. I meditate according to my Ability, and call my felf to an Account eve- ry Day j and corred; myfelf for what I have done amifs : That was unhandfomely done, this faucily faid, this was un- cautioufly a6ted; in that it were better to have held my Peace, that was negleded. Er. When do you come to this Reck- oning? Ga. Moft commonly at Nighty or at any Time that I am moft at leifure. Er. Bur tell me, in what Studies do you fpend the Day ? Ga. I will hide nothing from fo intimate a Companion : In the Morning, as foon as I am a- wake, (and that is commonly about fix a Clock, or fome- times at five) I fign my fclf with my Finger in the Forehead

and

[4J]

and Breaft with the Sign of the Crofs. Er. What then? Ga. I begin the Day in the Name of the Father, Son, and holy Spirit. Er. Indeed that is very pioufly done. Ga. By and by I put up a fhort Ejaculation to Chrift. Er. What doft thou fay to him ? Ga. I give him thanks that he has been pleafed to biefs me that Night j and I pray him that he would in like Manner profper me the whole of that Day, fo as may be for his glory, and my Soul's good j and that he who is the true Light, that never fets, the eternal Sun, that enlivens, nourifli- es and exhilarates all Things, would vouchfafe to enliven my Soul, that I mayn't fall into Sin^ but by his Guidance, may attain everlafting Life. Er. A very good Beginning of the Day indeed. Ga. And then having bid my Parents good Mor- row, to whom next to God, I owe the greaiefl Reverence, when it is Time I go to School j but fo that I may pafs by fome Church, if I can conveniendy. Er. What do you do there } Ga. I falute Jefus again in three Words, and all the Saints, either Men or Women ^ but the Virgin Mary by Name, and efpecialiy that I account moft peculiarly my own. Er. Indeed you feem to have read that Sentence of Cato, Saluta libenteri to good Purpofe j was it not enough to have faluted Chrift in the Morning, without faluting him again pre- fenriy ? Are you not afraid left you fhould be troublefome by your over Officioufnefs.^ Ga. Chrift loves to be often cal- led upon. Er. But it feems to be ridiculous to fpeak to one you don't fee. Ga. No more do I fee that part of me that fpeaks to him. Er. What Part is that } Ga. My Mind. Er. But ic feems to be Labour loft, to falute one that does not falute you again. Ga. He frequently falutes again by his fecret In- fpiration j and he anfwers fufficiently that gives what is ask'd of him. Er. What is it you ask of him.^ For I perceive your Salutations are petitionary, like thofe of Beggars. Ga. Indeed you are very righcj for I pray that he, who, when he was a Boy of about twelve Years of Age, fitting in the Temple, taught the Dodtors themfelves, and to whom the heavenly Father, by a Voice from Heaven, gave Authority to teach Mankind, fay- ing. This is my belo'vedSon, in luhom 1 am nuell pleafed, hear ye him j and who is the eternal Wifdom of the moft high Father, would vouchfafe ^to enlighten my Underftaoding, to receive wholefome Learning, that I may ufe it to his Glory. Er. Who are thofe Saints that you call peculiarly yours? Ga. Of the Apoftles, St. Vaul., of the Martyrs, St. Cyprian ; of the Dodors, Jerome:, of the Virgins, St. ^gnes Er. How came thefe to be yours, more than the reft? Was it by Choice or by Chance ? Ga. They fell to me by Lot. Er. But you only falute them I fuppofe^ do you beg any Thing of

3 them ?

[ 4^

them ? Ga. I pray, that by their Suffrages they would recom- mend me to Chrift, and procure that by his Afliftance it may in time come to pafs that I be made one of their Company. Er. Indeed what you ask for is no ordinary thing : But what do you do then ? Ga. I go to School, and do what is to be done there with m.y utmoft Endeavour ; I Co implore Chrift's Affiftance, as if my Study without it would fignify nothing j and I fludy as if he offered no Help but to him that labours induftrioufly j and I do my utmoft not to deferve to be bea- ten, nor to offend my Maftcr either in Word or Deed, nor any of my Companions. Er. You are a good Boy to mind thefe things. Ga. When School is done I m.ake haile Home* and if I can I take a Church in my Way, and in three Words, I falute Jefus again j and I pay my Refpefts to my Parents j and if I have any Time, I repeat, either by myfelf, or with one of my School-fellows, what was dictated in School. Er. Indeed you are a very good Husband of Time. Ga. No won- der I am of that, which is the mofl precious thing in the World, and when paft is irrecoverable. Er. And Hefwd tea- ches, that good Husbandry ought to be in the middle, it is too foon in the beginning, and too late in the end. Ga. He^ fod fpoke right enough concerning Wine, but of Time no good' Husbandry is unfeafonable. If you let a Hogfliead of Wine alone it won't empty itfelf j but Time is always a flying, fleeping or waking. Er. I confefs fo, but what do you cio after that? Ga. When my Parents fit down to Dinner I fay Grace, and then wait at Table till I am bid to take my own Dinner; and having return'd Thanks, if I have any Time left I divert myfelf with my Companions with Tome lawful Recre- ation till the Time comes to go to School again. Er. Do you falute Jefus again } . Ga. Yes, if I have an Opportunity j but if it fo happen that I have not an Opportunity, or it be not feafonable, as I pafs by the Church I falute him mentally j and then I do what is to be done at School with all my Might j and when I go Home again I do what I did before Dinner : After Supper I divert myfelf with fome pleafant Stories ; and afterwards bidding my Parents and the Family good Night, I go to-bed betimes, and there kneeling down by the Bed- fide, as I have faid, 1 fay over thofe Things I have been learning that Day at School ; if I have committed any great Fault, I implore Chrift's Clemency, that he would pardon me, and I promife Amendment ; and if I have committed no Fault, I thank him for his Goodnefs in preferving me from all Vice, and then I recommend myfelf to him with all my Soul, that he would preferve me from the Attempts of my

- evil

_ [ 47 ]

evil Genius and filthy Dreams. When this is done, and I am got into Bed, I crofs my Forehead and Breall, and com- pofe nfiyfelf to Reft. Er. In what Pofture do you compofe yourfelf? Ga. I don't lye upon my Face or my Back, but fiift leaning upon my Right-Side, I fold my Arms a-crofs, Co that they may defend my Breaft, as it were with the Figure of a Crofs, with my Right-hand upon my Left Shoulder, and my Left upon my Right, and fo I flcep fweedy, either till I awake of my felf, or am called up. Er. You are a little Saint that can do thus. Ga. You are a little Fool for faying fo. Er. I praife your Method, and I would I could pra- dife it. Ga. Give your Mind to it and you will do it, for when once you have accuftom'd your felf to it for a few Months, thefe Things will be pleafanr, and become natural. Er. But I want to hear concerning divine Service. Ga. I don't neglect that, efpecially upon holy Days, Er. How da you manage your felf on holy Days ? Ga. In the firft place I examine my felf if my Mind be polluted by any Stain of Sin. Er. And if you find it is, what do ycu then ? Do you refrain from the Alrar? Ga. Not by my bodily Prefence, but I withdraw my felf, as to my Mind, and {landing as it were afar off, as tho' not daring to life up my Eyes to God the Father, whom I have offended, I llrike upon my B'-eaft, crying out with the Publican in the Gofpel, Lord, he merciful to me a Sinner. And then if I know I have offended any Man, I take care to make him Satisfadlion if I can prefently; but if I cannot do that, I refolve in my Mind to reconcile my Neighbour as foon as poffible. If any Body has offended me, I forbear Revenge, and endeavour to bring it about, that he that has offended me may be made fenfible of his Fault, and be forry for it ; but if there be no hope of that, I leave all Vengeance to God. Er. That's a hard Task. Ga. Is it hard^ to forgive a fmall Offence to your Brother, whofe mutual Forgivenefs thou wilt ftand in frequent need of, when Chrift has at once forgiven us all our Offences, and is every Day forgiving us ? Nay, this feems to me not to be Liberality to our Neighbour, but putting to Intereft to Godj juft as tho' one Fellow-Servant fhould agree with another to forgive him three Groats, that his Lord might forgive him ten Talents. Er. You indeed argue very rationally, if what you fay be true. Ga. Can you defire any thing truer than the Gofpel? Er. That is unreafonable J but there are fome who can't believe themfelves to be Chriftians unlefs they hear Mafs (as they call it) every Day. Ga. Indeed I don't condemn the Pradice in thofe that have Time enough, and fpend whole Days in pro- fane Esercifesj but I only difapprove of thofe who fuperftirr-

oufly

[48 ]

oufly fancy that that Day muft needs be unfortunate to them that they have not begun with the Mafs ; and prefently after divine Service is over they go either to Trading, Gaming, or the Court, where whatfoevcr fucceeds, though done juftly or unjuftiy, they attribute to the MzCs. Er. Are there any Per- fons that are fo abfurd ? Ga. The greateft Part of Mankind. Er. But return to divine Service. Ga. If I can I get to ftand fo clofe by the holy Altat:, that I can hear what the Prieft reads, efpecially the Epiflle and the Gofpelj from thefe I endeavour to pick fomething, which I fix in my Mind, and this I ruminate upon for fome Time. Er. Don't you pray at all in the mean time ? Ga. I do pray, but rather mental- ly than vocally. From the Things the Prieft reads I take occafion of Prayer. Er. Explain that a little more, I don'c well take in what you mean. Ga. PlI tell you; fuppofe this Epiftle was read. Purge out the old L.eai;en, that ye may be a Keiu Lump, as ye are unlea'veited. On occafion of thefe Words I thus addrefs myfelf to Chrift, " I wifh I were the " unleavened Bread, pure from all Leaven of Malice ; but " do thou, O Lord Jefus, who alone art pure, and free from "■ all Malice, grant that I may every Day miore and more " purge out the old Leaven." Again, if the Gofpel chance to be read concerning the Sower fowing his Seed, I thus pray with my felf, " Happy is he that deferves to be that good *^ Grouad, and I pray that of barren Ground, he of his great " Goodnefs would make me good Ground, without whofe *' BlefiRng nothing at all is good." Thefe for Example fakci for it would be tedious to mention every thing. But if I hap- pen to meet with a dumb Prieft, (fuch as there are many in Germany) or that I can't get near the Altar, I commonly get a little Book that has the Gofpel of that Day and Epiftle, and this I either fay out aloud, or run it over with my Eye. Et. I underftand ; but with what Contemplations chiefly doft thou pafs away the Time .^ Ga. I give Thanks to Jefus Chrift for his unfpeakable Love, in condefcending to redeem Mankind by his Death i T pray that he would not fuffer his moft holy Blood to be fhed in vain for me, but that with his Body he would always feed my Soul, and that with his Blood he would quicken my Spirit, that growing by little and little in the Increafe of Graces, I may be made a fit Member of his myftical Body, which is the Church ; nor may ever fall from that holy Covenant that he made with his eleffc Difciples at the laft Supper, when he diftributed the Bread, and gave the Cup; and through thefe, with all who are engrafFed into his Society by Baptifm. And if I find my Thoughts to wander, I read feme Pfalmsj or fome pious Matter, that

may

[4iP]

keep my Mind from wandring. Er. Have you any particu- lar Pfalms for this purpofe. Ga. I have j bi^t I have not lb eyed my felf up to them:, but that I can omir them, if any Medication comes into my Mind that is more refreniing, than the Recitation of thoie Pfahns. Er. What do you do as to Failing ? Ga. I have nothing; to do with Fading, for fo Jerome has taught me ; that Health is not to be impair'd by fafting, until the Body is arrived at its full Strength. I ant not quite 17 Years oldj but yet if I find Occafion, I dine and fup fparingly, that I may be more lively for Spiri- tual Exercifes on holy Days. Er. Since I have begun, I will go through with my Enquiries. How do you find your felf afFefted towards Sermons? Ga. Very v/ell, I go to them as devoutly as if I was a going to a holy Affembly; and yzt I pick and chufe whom to hear, for there are fome, one had better not hear than h:?ar j and if fuch an one happens to preach, or if it happen that no Body preacheS; I paf:- this Time in reading the Scriptures, I read the Gofpel or Epiftle with Chryfoftoin's or Jerome's Interpretation, or any other learned Interpreter that I meet with. Er. But Word of Mouth is more afFeding. Ga. I confefs it is. I had ra- ther hear if I can bat meet with a tolctabla Preacher j but I don't feem to be wholly deftitute of a Sermon if I hear Chry^ fofiom or ferome fpeaking by their Writings. Er. I am of your Mind; but how do you ftand afiFeded as to Confefli- on ? Ga. Very well; for I confefs daily. Er. Every Day } Ga. Yes. Er. Then you ought to keep a Prieft to your felf Ga. But I confefs to him who only truly re- mits Sins, to whom all the Power is given. Er. To whom ? Ga. To Chrift. Er. And do you think that's fufficient ? Ga. It would be enough for me, if if were enough for the Rulers of the Church, and receiv'd Cuftom. ErT Who do you call the Rulers of the Church.? Ga. The P.^nes, Bifhops and Apoftles. Er. And do you put Chrift into this Number.? Ga. He is without controverfy the chief Head of 'em all. Er. And was he the Authot of this Confeflion in ufe? Qa. He is indet;d the Author of all good; but whe- ther he appointed Confeilion as it is now us'd in the Church, I leave to be difputed by Divines. The Authority of my Betters is enough for me that am but a Lad and a private Perfon. This is certainly the principal Confellion; nor is it an eafy Matter to confefs to Chrift; no Body confefes to him, but he that is angry with his Sin. If I have com- inifted any great offence, 1 lay it open, and bewail it to, him, and implore his Mercy; I cry out, weep and lament, nor do 1 give over before I feel the Love of Sin throughly purged from

E the

[50]

the Bottom of my Heart, and fome Tranquility and Chearful- nefs of Mind fol'CW upon it, which is an Argument of the Sin being pardoned. And when the Time requires to go to the holy Communion of the Body and Blood of Chriftj then I make Confeffion to a Priefl too, but in few Words, and nothing but what I am well fatisfy'd are Faults, or fuch that carry in them a very great Sufpicion that they are fuch ; neither do I always take it to be a capital or enormous Crime, every thing that is done contrary to human donfti- tutions, unlefs a wicked Conremptuoufnefs fhall go along with it: Nay, I fcarce believe any Crime to be Capital, that has not Malice join'd with it, that is, a perverfe Will. Er. I commend you, that you are fo religious, and yet not fuperftitious : Here I think the old . Proverb takes Place : Nee omnia, nee pajjim, 7iec quibtijlibet. That a Perfon fhculd neither fpeak all, nor every where, nor to all Perfons. Ga. I chufe me a Pricft, that I can truft Vv'ith the Secrets of my Heart. Er. That's wifely done : For theje are a great many, as is found by Experience, do blab out what in Confeffi- omis difcovered to them. And there are fome vile impu- dent Fellows that enquire of the Perfon confefling thofe things, that it were better if they were conceal'd j and there are fome unlearned and foolifli Fellows, who for the fake of filthy Gain, lend their Ear, but apply not their Mind, who can't diftinguifh between a Fault and a good Deed, nor can neither teach, comfort nor advife. Thefe things I have heard from many, and in part have experienced my felf. Ga. And I too muchj therefore I chufe me one that is learn'd, grave, of approv'd Integrity, and one that keeps his Tongue .within his Teeth. Er Truly you are happy that can make a Judgment of things fo early. Ga. But above all, I take care of doing any Thing that I can't fafely truft a Prieft with. Er. That's the beft Thing in the World, if you can but do fo. Ga. Indeed it is hard to us of our felves, but by the Help of Chrift it is eafy; the greateft Matter is, that there be a Will to it. I often renew my Refolution, efpecially upon Sundays: And befides that, I endeavour as much as I can to keep out of evil Company, and aflociate my felf with good Company, by whofe Converfation I may be better'd. Er. Indeed you manage yourfelf rightly: For evil Cowverfations corrupt good JMaanen. Ga. I fliun Idle- nefs as the Plague. Er. You are very right, for Idleneft is the Root of all Evil^ but as the World goes now, he muft live by himfelf ihat would keep out of bad Company. Ga. What you fay is very true, for as the Greek wife Men hid the bad are the greateit Number. But J chufe the beft

2 OUC

[ iO

out of a feWj and fotnetimes a good Companion, makes his Companion better. I avoid thofe Diverlions that incite to Naughtinefs, and ufe thofe that are innocent. I behave my felf courteous to all ; but familiarly with none but thofe * that are good. If I happen at any Time to fall into bad Company, f either corre6l them by a foft Admonition, or wink at and bear with them, if I can do them no good ; but I be fure to get out of their Company as foon as I can. Er. Had you never an itching Mind to become a Monk. Ga. Never; but I have been often follicited to ic by fome, that call you into a Monaftery, as into a Pore from a Shipwreck. Er Say you fo ? Were they in Hopes of a Prey ? Ga. They fet upon both me and my Parents with a great many crafty Perfuafionsj but I have taken a Refolution not to give my Mind either to Matrimony or Prieiihood, nor to be a Monk, nor to any kind of Life out of which I can't extricate my felf, beiore I know my felf very well. Er. When will that be? Ga. Perhaps ne- ver. But before the 28th Year of ones Age, nothing lliould be refolved on. Er. Why fo } Ga. Becaufe I hear every where, fo many Priefts, Monks and married Men lamenting, that they hurried themfelves rafhly into Servitude. Er. You are very cautious not to be catch'd. Ga. In the mean Time I take a fpecial care of three things. Er. What are they ? Ga. Firft of all to make a good Progrefs in Mo- rality, and if I can't do that, I am refolv'd to maintain an unfpotted Innocence and good Name j and laft of all I fur- nifh my felf with Languages and Sciences that will be of Ufe in any kind of Life. Er. But do you negled the Poets? Ga. Not wholly, but I read generally the chafteft of them, and if I meet with any Thing that is not modeft, I pafs thac by, as UljJJes paffed by the Syrens, flopping his Ears. Er. To what Kind of Study do you chiefly addid your felf ? To Phyfick, the Common or Civil Law, or to Divinity ? For Languages, the Sciences and Philofophy are all conducive to any Profeffion whatfoever. Ga. I have not yet tho- roughly betaken my felf to any one particularly, but I take a Tafte of all, that I be not wholly ignorant of any; and the rather, that having tafted of ail I may the better chu(e that I am fitteft for. Medicine, is a certain Portion in what- foever Land a Man is j the Law is the way to Preferment : But I like Divinity the beft, faving that the Manners of fome of the Profedors of ir, and the bitter Contentions that are a- mong them, difpleafe me. Er. He won't be very apt to fall that goes fo warily along. Many in thefe Days are frighted from Divinity, becaufe they are afraid they iTaould not be

E a found

[ 50

found in the Catholick Faith, becaufe they fee no Principle of Religion:, but what is called in Queftion. Ga I beheve firmly what I read in the holy Scriptures, and the Creed, called the Apoftles, and I don't trouble my Head any farther: I leave the reft to be difputed and defined by the Clergy, if they pleafe j and if any thing is in common UCe with Chri- ftians that is not repugnant to the holy Scriptures, I obferve it for this Reafon, that I may not offend other People. Er. What Thales taught you that Philofophy ? Ga When I was a Boy and very youngs I happen'd to live in the Houfe with that honefteft of Men * jfoha Colet, do you know him ? Er. Know himi ay, as well as I do you. Ga. He inftrudt- ed me when I was young in thefe Precepts. Er. You won't envy me, I hope, if 1 endeavour to imitate you? Ga. Nay, by that means you will be much dearer to me. For you know. Familiarity and good Will, are clofer ty'd^ by Similitude of Manners. ' Er. True, but not among Can- didates for the fame Office, when they are both fick of the fame Difeafe. Ga No, nor between two Sweet-hearts of the fame Miftrefs, when they arc both fick of the fame Love. Er. But without jefting, I'll try to imitate that Courfc of Life, Ga. I wifh you as good Succefs as may be. Er^ It may be I fhall overtake thee. Ga. I wiflr you might gee before me j but in the mean Time I won't ftay for you ; but I will every Day endeavour to out-go myfelt, and do you endeavour to out-gq me if you can.

The Argument.

1ti)is Colloquy pre [ents you with the Art of Huntings Fijh- ing^ of bringing Earth'lVorms out of the Ground, of Jiicking Frogs.

I*AUL, Thomas, Vincent, Lawrence,

Bartholus.

jp 4. Every one to his Mind. I love Hunting. Th And •* fo do I too, but where are the Dogs ? The hunting Poles ? And the hunting Nets ? Pa. Farewel Boars, Bears,

* John Coht was an Englijhman of good Reputation and Learning; a fimiliar Acquaintance of Erajmus, to whom there are many Letters of Erafmus fiow extant*

Bucksj

Ci3]

Bucks, and Foxes, well lay Snares for Rabbets. Vi. Buc I'll fee Gins for Loculls and Crickets. La. But I'll carch Frogs. Ba. I'll hunt Butterflies. La. 'Tis difficult to follow flying Creatures. Ba. Ic is difficult, but 'tis fine Sporty unlefs you think it finer Sport to hunt after Earth-worms, Snails or Cockles, becaufe they have no Wings. La. In- deed I had rather go a Fifhingj I have a neat Hook. Ba. But where will you get Baits ? La. There are Earth-worms enough every where to be had. Ba. So there is, if they would but creep out of the Ground to you. La. But I'll make a great many thoufand jump out prefently. B<«. How ? By Witch-craft? La. You fhall fee the Art. Fill this Buck- et with Water, break thefe green peels of Walnuts to Pie- ces and put into it : Wet the Ground with the Water. Now mind a litde, do you fee them coming out.? Ba. I fee a Miracle. I believe the armed Men flatted out of the Earth after this Manner from the Serpents [i] Teeth than were fown : But a great many Fifh are of too fins and de- licate a Palate to be catch'd by fuch a vulgar Bait. La. I know a certain Sort of an Infcd that I us'd to catch fuch with. Ba. See if you can impofe upon the Fiilies fo, I'll make work with the Frogs, La. How, with a Net ? Ba. No, with a Bow. La, That's a new way of Fiffiing ! Ba. But 'tis a pleafant one j you'll fay fo, when you fee it. Vi. What if we two lliouW play at holding up our Fingers ? Ba. That's an idle, clownifh Play indeed, fitter for them that are fitting in a Chimney Corner, than thofe that are ranging in the Field. Vi. What if wq ffiould play at Cob-Nut ? Pa. Let us let Nuts alone for little Chits, we are great Boys. Vi. And yet we are but Boys for all that. Fa. But they that are fit to play at Cob-Nut, are fit to ride upon a Hob- by-Horfe. Vi. Well then, do you fay what we fhall play at; and I'll play at what you will, Fa. And I'll be con- formable.

[i] This refers to the Fable in the 2d Book of O-vid's Metamorphofes where Cadmus fcattering the Serpents Teeth on the Groundj armed Men /prang up.

E 3 The

[54]

The Argument.

Sl'/i' Colloquy treats of fcholajlick Studies^ and School Plays. I. 'The Boys going into the School. The fir i- king of a Clock. A 'ujhlpping Mafter. Of faying a Lejfon. ■ Fear hurts the Memory, i. 0/ IFriting^ the Paper finks. Of making a Pen. Of a hard Nip- Afoft Nip. Of Writing quick^ well. ^

STLFIUS, JOHN.

Cr. What makes you run fo, Johjt} Jo. What makes a *^ Hare run before the Dogs, as they ufe to fay? 5;-/. What Proverb is this ? Jo. Becaufe unlefs I am there in Time^ before the Bill is called over, I am fure to be whipp'd. Sy. You need not be afraid of that, it is but a little paft five: Look upon the Clock, the Hand is not come to the half Hour Point yet. Jo. Ay, but I can fcarce truft to Clocks, they go wrong fometimes. Sy. But truft me then, I heard the Clock ftrikc. Jo. What did that flrike ? Sy. Five. Jo. But there is fomething elfe that I am more afraid of than that, I muft fay by heart a good long Leffon for Yefterday, and I am afraid 1 can't fay it. Sy. I am in the fame Cafe, with you j. for I my felf have hardly got mine ais it fliould be. Jo. And you know the Mafter's Severity. Every Fault is a Capital one with him : He has no more Mercy of our Breeches, than if they were made of a Bull's Hide. Sy. But he won't be in the School. Jo. Who has he appointed in his Place ? Sy. Cornelius. Jo. That fquint-ey'd Fellow ! Wo to our Back-fides, he's a greater Whip-Mafter than Busby himfelf Sy. You fay very true, and for that Reafon I have often wifh'd he had a Palfy in his Arm. Jo. It is not pious to wifh ill to ones Mafter: it is our Bufinefs rather to take care rot to fall under the Tyrant's Hands. Sy. Let us fay one to another, one repeating and the other looking in the Book." y(?. That's well thought on. 6). Come, be of good Heart; for Fear fpoils the Memory. Jo. I could eafily lay afide Fear, if I were out of Danger j but who can be at eafe in hi? Mind, that is in fo much Danger. Sy. I confefs foj but we are not in Danger of our Heads, but of our Tails.

0/

Iss-i

z. Of Writing. CORNELIUS, ANDREW.

Co. You write finely:, but your Paper finks. Your Paper is damp, and the Ink finks through it. ^//. Pray make me a Pen of this. Co. I have not a Pen-knife, J^??. Here is one for you. Co. Oat on'c, how blunt it is ! ^n. Take the Hoan. Co. Do you love to write with a hard-nip'd Pen, or a foft ? An. Make it fit for your own Hand. Co. I ufe to write with a foft Nip. y^n Pray write me out the Alpha- bet. Co. Greek or Latin? .An. Write me the Latin firft; I'll try to imitate it. Co. Give me fome Piiper then. A?i Take fome. Co. But my Ink is too thin, by often pouring in of Water. .An. But my Cotton is quite dry. Co. Squeeze it, or elfe Pifs in it. An. I had rather get fome Body to give me fome. Co. It is better to have of ones own, than to borrow. An. What's a Scholar without Pen and Ink ? Co. The fame that a Soldier is without Shield or Sword. An. I wifla my Fingers were fo nimble, I can't write as faffc as another fpeaks. Co. Let it be your firft chief Care to write well, and your next to write quick: No more Hafte than good Speed. An. Very well ; fay to the Mafter when he didates, no more Hafte than good Speed.

A Form of giving 'Thanks. PETER, CHRISTIAN.

Pe. You have oblig'd me, in that you have written to me fometimes. I thank you for writing to me often. I love you, that you have not thought much to fend me now and then a Letter. I give you Thanks that you have vificed me with frequent Letters. I thank you for loading of me with Packets of Letters. I thank you heartily. Thanks that you have now and then provoked me with Letters. You have oblig'd me very much that you have honour'd me with your Letters. I am much beholden to you for your moft obliging Letters to me. I take it as a great Favour, that you have not thought much to write tome.

E 4 'The

[in

'the Anfwer.

Ch. Indeed I ought to bej^ Pardon for my Prefumption, who dar'd prefume to trouble a Man of io much Bufinels, and fo much Learning wiih my unlearned Letters. I acknow- }p,^o-e yoar ulual hurn.inicV;, who h:ive taken my Boldnefs in good Parr. I was afraid my Lctcers had given you fome Of- fence, that you fent me no Anfwer. There is no Reafon that you fhould thank me, it is more than enough for me, if you have taken my Indullry in good Part.

j^ Form of asking after News.

Te. Is there no News come from our Country? Have you had any Ne^s from our Countrymen' What News? Do you bring any News? Is there any News come to Town? Is there any News abroad from our Country?

^the Anfwer.

Ch. There is much News; but nothing of Truth. News enough indeed ; but nothing certain. A great deal of News; but nothing to be depended upon. Not a little News; but not much Truth. There is no News come. I have had no News at all. Something. of News; but nothing certain. There are a great many Reports come to Town; but they are all doubiful There is a great deal of Talk; but no- thing true, nothing certain. If Lies pleafe, I have brought you a whole Cart-LoaJ of them. I bring you whole Bufhels of Tales. I bring you as many Lies as a good Ship v/ill carry. Fe. Then unlade your felf as faft as you can, for fear you fhould fink, being fo over-freighted. Ch. J h.:ve nothing but what's the Chat of Barbers Shops, C( aches and Boats.

Han't you received any Letters, the Form.

Pe. Have you had no Letters? Have you had any Let- ters out of your own Country? Have no Letters been brought to you? Have you receiv'd any Letters? Have z yoa

. [57 ]

you had any Letters? Have you received any Letters from your Friends? Are there no Letters come from Francel

'the Anpwer.

Ch. I have received no Letters. I han't had fo much as a Letter. I han't had the leaft Bit of a Letter. No Body has fent me any Letter. There is not the leaft Word come from any Body. I have received no more Letters for this long Time, than what you fee in my Eye. Indeed I had rather have Money than Letters. I had rather receive Mo- ney than Letters. I don't matter Letters, fo the Money does but come. I had rather be paid, than be written to.

/ believe fo. the Form.

Pe. I eafily believe you. That is not hard to be believ'd. It is a very eafy thing to believe that. Who would not believe you in that? He will be very incredulous, that won't believe you in that Matter. In truth I do believe you. You will caiily make me believe that. I can believe you without fwearing. What you fay is very likely. But for all that. Letters bring fome Comfort. I had rather have either of them, than neither.

- Of Profit. A Form. ,

Ch. What fignlfies Letters without Money ? What figni- fies empty Letters ? What do empty Letters avail ? What good do they do, what do they profit, advantage? To v/hom are Letters grateful or acceptable without Money ? What Advantage do empty Letters bring? What are idle Letters good for? What do they do? What ufe are they of? What are they good for? What Ao they bring with thenx of Moment ? What Ufe are empty Letters of?

the Anfwer,

Te. They are ufeful, fit, proper, to wipe your Breech with. They are good to wipe your Backfide with. If you don't know the Ufe of them, they are g^od to wipe your Arfe with. To wipe your Breech with. To wipe your Backfide with. They are good to cleanfe that Part of the Body that

often

[i8]

often fouls itfelf. They are good to wrap Mackrel in. Good to make up Grocery Ware in.

Of 'wijhing Well. I. 'To a Man whofe Wife is 'with Child.

Fe. What ? are our little Friends well ? How does your Wife do.? Ch. Very well, I left her with her Mother, and with Child. Pe. I wi(h it niay be well for you, and her too: To you, becaufe you're fliortly to be a Father, and fhe a Mother. God be with you. 1 pray and defire that it may be profperous and happy to you both. I pray, I beg of God that (he, having a fafe Delivery, may bear a Child worthy of you both , and may make you a Father of a fine Child. I commend you that you have fhewed your ielf to be a Man. I am glad you have prov'd your felf to be a Man. You have fliew'd your felf to be a Gallus, but not [i] Cjbeles. Now you may go, I believe, you are a Man. Cb. You joke upon me, as you are ufed to do. Well, po on, you may fay what you pleafe to me.

2. To one coming home into his own Country.

Ch. I hear, you have lately been in your own Country. Fe. I have To, I had been out of it a pretty while. I could not bear to be out of it long. \ could not bear to . be out of my Parents Sight any longer. I thought long till I enjoy'd my Friends Company. Ch. You have adled very pioufly. You are very good Humour'd, to think of thofe Matters. We have all a ftrange Afifedion for the Country that hath bred us, and brought us forth.

jis Ovid fays :

Nefcio qua 7iatale folum dulcedine cmtBos Ducifi (^ immemores non Jin it ejje fut.

Pray tell me how did you find all Things there.'

[i.] TheP,iefts of Cybelethe Mother of the Gods, were calj'd Calli, and were gelded or depnvd of their Genitals, and therefore could not /hew them, lelves as Fathers or Men,

[ 59 3

jill Things new. 'The Form.

Ve. Nothing bur what was new. All Things changed^ all Things become new. See how fcon Time chanties all hu- man Affairs. Methought I came into another World. I had fcarce been abfent ten Years, and yet I admired at every Thing, as much as Epmevides the Prince of Sleepers, when he firft wak'd out of his Sleep. Ch. What Story is that? What Fable is that } Pe. I'll tell you if you are at Leifure. Ch. There is nothing more pleafant. Pe Then order me a Chair and a CuHiion. Ch. That's very well thought on, for you will tell Lyes the better, fitting at eafe. Pe. Hiftorians tell us a Story, of one Ephnenldes a Man of Crete, who taking a walk alone by himfelf without the City, beino- caught in a hafty Shower of Rain, went for Shelter into a Cave, and there fell afleep, and flepc on for feven and forty Years together.

/ don't helie've it. The Form.

ch. What a Story you tell } 'Tis incredible. What you fay is not very likely. You tell me a Fidlion. I don't think 'tis true. You tell me a monftrous Story. Are you not afliara'd to be guilty of fb wicked a Lye } This is a Fable fit to be put among [i] Luciaji's Legends. Pe. Nay, I tell you what is related by Authors of Credit, unlefs you think [2] Auhs Gellius is not an Author of approv'd Credit. Ch. Nay, whatfoever he has written, are Oracles to me [3]. Pe. Do you think that a Divine dream'd fo many Years.? For it is iloried that he was a Divine. Ch. I am with Child to hear.

The Anfwer.

Pe. What is it more than what Scotm and the School-men did afterwards.? But Epimenides, he came off pretty well, he came to himfelf again at laft j but a great many Divines nevef ^

[i] Lucian of Samos, who in the Time of Diockfian, wrote Dialogues in Greek.

[2] The Author of the NoBes Attica. . .

{3] The Oracles of the Sykihy elpecially that of Cuma, were sc:cuntedto ie then of the greateft certainty.

wake

[ fo ]

wake out of their Dreams. Cb. Well ^o on, you do like a Poet i but go on with your Lye. Pe. Epimenides waking out of his Sleep, goes out of his Cave, and looks about him, and kes all Things chang'd, the Woods, the Banks, the Ri- vers, the Trees, the Fields, and, in fhorr, there was nothing but was new: He goes to the City, and enquires j he ftays there a little while, but knows no Body, nor did any Body know him: The iVIen were drefs'd after another Fa- fliion, than what they were before j they had not the I'ame Countenances i their Speech was alter'd, and their Manners quite different : Nor do I wonder it v/as fo with EpmenideSt after fo many Years, when it wa<f almoft fo with me, when I had been abfent but a few Tears, Ch. But how do your Father and Mother do } Are they living } Pe. They are both alive and well; but pretty much worn out v/ith old Age, Di- feafes, and laltly, wich the Calamities of War. Ch. This is the Comedy of human Life. This is the inevitable Law of Deftiny.

fF'ords, Names of Affinity.

Pe. Will you fup at Home to Day ? Ch. I am to fup a- broad : I miift go out to Supper. Pe. With whom ? Ch. With my Father in Law; -.vith my Son in Law; at my Daughter's in Law ; with my Kinfman. They are call'd, Affines, Kinfmen, who are ally'd nor by Blood, bur Mar- riage. Pe. What are the ufual Names of Affinity ? Ch. A Husband and Wife are noted Names.

Socer, Is miy Wife's Father.

Gcner, My Daughter's Husband.

Socrusy My Wife's Mother.

Nurus, My Son's Wife.

l^evir, A Husband's Brother. Levir is call'd by the Wife, as Helen calls Heiior, Levir, becaufe ilie was married to Paris.

Fratria, My Brother's Wife.

Glofy A Husband's Sifter.

VitricuSy My Mother's Husband.

No'vercuy My Father's Wife.

Privignusy 1 he Son of my Wife or Husband.

Privigna, The Daughter of cither of them.

JRivalis, He that loves the fame Woman another does.

Pellex,

[ 6l ]

Telkx, She that loves the fame Man another d'^e?; as Th'a- lb is the Rival of Vhradria, and Europa the Fellex of '/uno.

Of inviting to a Feafi. Dine with me to Morrow.

Fe. I <^ive you thanks, I commend you, I invite you to Supper againft to Morrow. I entreat your Company at Sup- per to Morrow. I defire you'd come to Dinner with me to Morrow. I would have your Company at Dinner to Morrow.

/ fear I can't come,

Ch. I fear I can't. I am afraid I cant. I will come if I can i but I am afraid I can't.

Te. Why can't you? How fo? Why fo? Wherefore? For what Reafon ? For what Caufe ? What hinders )'ou that you can't.

I mup flay at Home.

Ch. Indeed I muft be at Home at that Time. I muft needs be at Home at Night. I muft not be abroad at that Tim»e. I {hall not have an Opportunity to go out any where to Mor- row. I muft not be abfent at Dinner. I expe6t fome Guefts my felf upon that Day. Some Friends have made an Ap- pointment to fup at our Houfe that Night. I have fome Guefts to entertain that Night, or elfe I would come with all my Heart. Unlefs it were fo, I would not be unwilling to come. If it were not fo, I iTiould not want much encreating. I would make no Excufe if I could come. If I could come, I would noc be ask'd twice. IF I could by any means com^e, I would come with a very little, or without any Invitation at all. If I could, I would obey your Command very readily. It is in vain to ask one that is not at his own Difpofa! : And there would be no need to ask me if I could come: Bur at prefent, though I had never fo much xMind, I can't j and ic would be altogether unneceflary to ask one thar is v>/ilhng. Te. Then pray let me have your Company the next Day after: Howevefj I muft needs have your Company at Supper

the

[ 6^ ]

the next Diy after to Morrow. You muft not deny me your Company four Days hence. You muft make no Ex- cufe as to coming next Thurfday.

/ can't protnife.

Ch. I can't promife. I cannot pofitively promife you. I^ can't certainly promife you. \ will come when it Ihall be moffc convenient for us both.

Tou ought to fet the Day.

Te. I would have you appoint a Day when you will come to fup with me. You muft affign a Day. You muft fet the Day. I defire 2 certain Day may be prefix'd^ prefcrib'd, ap- pointed, fet j but fet a certain Day. I would have you tell me the Day.

/ would not ha've you know before Hand.

Ch. Indeed I don't ufe to fet a Day for my Friends. I am ufed to fet a Day for rhofe I'm at Law with. I would not have you know before Hand. I'll take you at unawares. I'll come unexpededly. I will catch you when you don't think on me. I fliall take you when you don't think on me. I'll come unlook'd for, I'll come upon you before you are aware. I'll come an uninvited and unexpe6ted Gueft.

/ would know before Hand.

Ve. I would know two Days before Hand. I w®uld know two Days before. Give me Notice two Days before you come. Make me acquainted two Days before. Ch. If you will have me, I'll make a Sybaritkal Appointment, that you may have Time enough to provide afore Hand. Fe. What appointment is that.? Ch. The Sybarities invited their Guefts againft the next Year, that they might both have Time to be prepar'd. Te. Away with the Sybarites, and their troublefome Entertainments: I invite an old Chrony, and not a Courtier.

Tou defire to your own Detriment.

Ch. Indeed 'tis to your Detriment. Indeed 'tis to your own Harm. To your own Lofs. You wifli for it. You pray for

that

[^3 ]

tbat to your own Ill-convenience. Fe. Why (b ? Wherefore.' Ch. I'll come provided. I'll come prepar'd. I'll Tet upoa you accoutred. I'll conne furnifli'd with a iliarp Stomach j do you take care that you have enough to fatisfy a Vulture. I'll prepare my Belly and whet my Teeth ; do you look to it, to get enough to iacisfy a Wolf. Pe. Come and welcome, I dare you to it. Come on, if you can do any thing, do ic to your utmoft, with all your Might, Ch. I'll come, but I won't come alone. Fe. You (hall be the more welcome for that; but who will you bring with you.? Cb. My Umbra. Pe. You can't do otherwife if you come in the Day Time. Ch. Ay, but I'll bring one Umbra or two that have o-oc Teeth, that you fhan't have invited me for nothing. Pe. Well, do as you will, fo you don't bring any Ghoits along with you. But if you pleafe explain what is the Meaning of the Word Umbra. Ch. Am.ong the Learned they are call'd Umbra, v.'ho being uninvited, bear another Perfon, that is invited. Company to a Feafb. Pe. Well, bring fuch Ghofts along with you as many as you will.

'•> d « O «» « <» 'a <«i 4» '9 .:3 •:S

I promlfe upon this Condition.

Ch. Well, I will come, but upon this Condition, that you fliall come to Supper with me' the next Day. I will do it upon this Condition that you lliall be my Gueft afterwards. Upon that Condition t pvomife to come to Supper, that you again fhall be my Gueft. I promife I will, but upon thefe Terms, that you in the like Manner fhall be my Gueft the next Day.^^I promife I will, I give you my Word I will, upon this Confideration, that you dine v/ith me the next Day. Pe. Come on, let ic be done, let it be fo. It fliall be as you would have it. If you command me, I'll do it. I know the Premh Ambition, You won't fup with me, but you'll make me amends for it. And fo by this Means FeaRs ufe to go round. From hence it comes to pafs, that it is a long Time before we have done feafring one with another. By this fe- terchangeablenefs Feafts become reciprocal without End. Cb. It is the pleafanteft Vv/'ay of Living in the World, if no more Provifion be made, but what is ufed to be made daily.

But, I detain you, it may be, when vou are goiiTT fome whither. Pe. Nay, I beli -ve, I do you. ' But we'll talk more largely and more freely to Morrow. But we'll divert our felves to Morrow more plentifully. In the mean Time take

Care

C ^4 ]

Care of your Health. In the mean Time take Care to keep yourfelf in good Health. Farewell till then.

Whither are you going? 'The Form.

Ch. Where are you a going now.? Whirher are you gointr fo faft? Where are you a going in fuch great Haite. Whi^ ther go you } What's your Way "?

I go home. The Form.

Te. I go home. I return home, I go home. I return home. I go home. I go to fee what they are a doing ac home. I go to call a Doctor. I am going into the Country. I made an Appointment juft at this Time to go to fpeak with a certain great Man. I made an Appointment to meet a great Man at this Time. Ch. Whom Te. Talkative 'Curio. Ch. I wifh you Mercurfs AlTiftance. Fe. What need of Mey'r curfs Affiftance .? Ch. Becaufe you have to do with a Man of Words. Pe. Then it were more proper to wifh the AfTi- ftance of the Goddefs 7»/mori^ Ch. Why fo? Pe. Becaufe you'll have more Occafion for patient Ears, than a ftrenuous Tongue. And the Ear is dedicated to the Goddefs Memoria,

Ch. Whither are you going .> Whither will you go? Fe. This Way, to the left Hand. This Way, that Way, through the Market. Ch. Then I'll bear you Company as far as the next Turning. Fe. I won't let you go about. You fhan'c put your felf to fo much Trouble upon ray Account. Save that Trouble till it fhall be of Ufe, it is altogether unneceffary at this Time. Don't go out of your Way upon my Account. Ch. 1 reckon I fave my Time while I enjoy the Company of fo good a Friend. I have nothing elfe to do, and I am not fo lazy, if my Company won't be troublefome. Fe. No Body is a more pleafant Companion. But I won't fufFer you to go on my left Hand. I won't let you walk on my left Hand. Here [I bid God be with you. I fliall not bear you Company any looger. You Ihan'c go further with me.

A Form

A Form of recommending.

Ch. Recommend me kindly to Curio. Recommend me as kindly as may be to talkative Curio. Take Care to recom- mend me heartily to Curio. I delire you have me recom- mended to him. I recommend my felf to him by you. I recommend my felf to you again and again. I recommend my felf to your Favour with all the Earneftnefs pofTible. Leave recommendo inftead of commendo to 'Barbarians, See that you don't be fparing of your Speech with one that is full of Tongue. See that you be not of few Words with him that is a M^n of many Words.

A Form of Ohfequioufnefs,

Fe. Would you have me obey you.? Would you have me . be obedient.^ Shall I obey you? Then you command me to imitate you. Since you would have it fo, I'll do it with all my Heart. Don't hinder me any longer ; don't let us hinder one another. Ch. But before you go, I increat you not to think much to teach me how I muft ufe thefe Sentences, m mora, in cau/a, in culfa-^ you ufe to be ftudious of Elegancy. Wherefoi-e come on, 1 entreat you teach me j explain it to me, I'll love you dearly.

In Culpa ^ In Caufd^ In Mora.

Pe. I muft do as you would have me. The Fault is not: in me. It is not in thee. The Delay is in thee. Thou art the Caufe, is indeed grammatically fpoken j thefe are more elegant.

In Culpa.

I am not in the Fault. The Fault is not mine, t am without Fault. Your Idlenefs has been the Caufe, that you have made no Proficiency, not your iVIafter nor your Father. You are all in Fault. You are both in Fault. You are both to be blam'd. Ye arc both to be accus'd. Ye are both ia

F Faulc.

I 66 -]

Fault. You have gotten this Diftemper by your own iil Management. In like manner they are faid to be in vitio> to whom the Fault is to be imputed ; and in crimine, they who arc to be blam'dj and /;z damno ejfe, who are Lofers. This Sort of Phrafe is not to be inverted commonly, Dam~ num in illo eji. Vitium in illo efi.

In Caufd.

Sicknefs has been the occafion that I have not written to you . My Affairs have been the Caufe that I have written to you fo feldom, and not Negle61:, What was the Caufe? What Caufe was there ? I was not the Caufe. The Poft-man was in the Fault that you have had no Letters from me. Love and not Study is the Caufe of your being fo lean* This